You can’t beat an Indian horse on the backstretch

July is considered racing month, with horse racing taking centre stage. From the Vodacom Durban July to the Gold Cup and the more local Dundee July, there’s always some entertainment for the equestrian lover.
Racing month also gives fashionistas a chance to show off their outfits and owners a chance to show off their strangely named horses. With the amount of horses racing over the years, it must be difficult to think of an original name. Which makes you think. Why aren’t there any Indian named horses? Where’s Curry King or Bunny Chow? Ever heard of Mariemuthu or Nine Boy? If there’s a horse called Dancers Daughter, why can’t there be a Dinesh’s Daughter? There’s a Big City Lifer so why not a Small Town Gossip? That horse will be popular amongst the Indian aunties.
Pocket Power can be called Puri Patha Power and El Picha can be renamed, El Prakesh, how you chooning me like that.
It may be a bit long though to fit on the winners sash. One can only imagine what an Indian horse would be like. Before every race he would have headphones on, listening to Lotus FM, trying to unwind. An Indian horse would also have CD’s hanging from his ears.
Not only will this help distract the other horses but it will look stylish as well. Instead of blinkers he’ll have a crocheted doily on his face, presumably from his owners coffee table. An Indian horse will never lose either. You can’t beat an Indian horse on the backstretch. Just touch a button behind his ears to activate the NOS and he’s gone. Another thing you can guarantee about an Indian horse is that it will never let its jockey hit him with a riding crop. As soon as the crop touched his fur, the horse would drop his rider to the ground and continue to kick him while he was down. The other horses and riders would then have to try and hold him back. Despite definitely being entertaining, an Indian horse may not be what the racing community needs at the moment. An Indian horse would be unstoppable. Just ask the owners mother. That aunty will tell everyone who will listen just how good her son’s horse is.
So hold your horses as they say and wait patiently for the debut of the first Indian horse. And the next time you’re watching the races and see an oddly named horse, why not try and make it sound more Indian.