Saying ‘no’ to drinking in situations like at a party can be hard. The first time may be especially difficult, but keeping at it, makes it easier. Firstly, understand and prepare your heart-felt reason for not wanting to drink.

It could be because you’d rather concentrate on sport or school, or for religious reasons. Or just because you want to wait until it’s right (and legal). You don’t need to apologise, or blame your choice on others. Stand your ground without lame excuses.

It’s your right to say “not for me, thank you.” ‘The Positive No’ is a good technique for resisting. Unlike an ordinary ‘no’, a ‘Positive No’ begins with a ‘yes’ and ends with a ‘yes’. The ‘Positive No’ involves, first of all, saying yes to yourself and what is important to you. Here’s an example: Yes: “I need to go to soccer practice because I want to be play for South Africa one day.” No: “So I cannot go out drinking with you.”

Yes: “I value our friendship! I still want to hang out with you; I’m just choosing not to drink with you.” Physically asserting yourself will make people take your ‘no’ seriously, so stand up straight; make eye contact and say how you feel clearly, don’t mumble. Hollywood starlet, Drew Barrymore, grew up in the limelight.

She starred in the blockbuster, ET, when she was only seven. But by age 11, she was an alcoholic, and was admitted to rehab at 14. Her turbulent teens threatened to compromise her talent and ruin her future.
But in her 20’s, she learnt to say ‘no’, regained her career focus, and today is a leading film producer and actress. But there are many tragic stories that did not end as well: Lebo Mathosa being killed by her own (allegedly drunk) driver; Amy Winehouse dying young after an extreme alcohol habit and our own Brenda Fassie whose wild alcohol-fuelled lifestyle eventually resulted in her death.

The AA Estcourt branch hosts meetings every Tuesday at Forderville Primary School from 7pm to 8pm. Contact Desigan on 082 849 3014.