Fancy joining the #rainmustfall movement? You also get a T-shirt …

Farmers and several angry keyboard warriors from Glencoe have come together to form the radical #rainmustfall movement.
Armed with rolling pins, green socks, short pants and, of course, a keyboard or two, the group meet on the Gladstone Street traffic circle on Thursday evenings to loudly demonstrate and protest the lack of rain that has devastated most of the country.
“I am tired of buying blerry bottled water every day. It costs a fortune. And my husband complains if his morning coffee pongs of municipal water,” said Tannie Kriel, brandishing a rather menacing mop.
Farmer Muller was upbeat. “I did not even know what those # goodies were on my phone until I saw those student okes ripping down the Rhodes statue. Thought that was funny – I mean, the blerry Engelsman’s money built the university now they knock him down… hee, hee – at least they can’t blame us for that one.”
But how does the group intend to make, well, rain fall? “Ag, we just bang on our pots and pans and beat our tractors to make a sound like thunder. Nature acts on instinct – if there are enough loud bangs, mother nature thinks it is thundering, then it rains – pretty logical, hey?,” exclaimed a Mev de Wet. A municipal worker was seen desperately trying to fix a leak near the traffic circle caused by a massive oil tanker that had strayed down Beaconsfield Street.
“Bet the blerry driver was looking for some two-legged take-aways. He could not get round the circle, and, bang, there goes the pipe and precious water gushes towards the police station,” said a rather jolly man who identified himself only as Tyres.
T-shirts have been produced by the #rainmustfall movement. The colour? Blue, of course. “Of course, the whole drought is a conspiracy. We all know that the Buffalo River water pipeline from Tayside up to the water works on Mpati hill was built in around 1986. Since then about six thousand new homes have been built in Endumeni and thousands of people have flocked here to do nothing – yet the pipeline is the same and rain fall has fallen – excuse the pun,” said Ravi, one of the few Indian farmers in the area.
Tyres nodded his head in furious agreement. “It is a colonial thing really.
“There used to be lots of rain – I mean the Buffalo River was in flood during the Anglo Zulu war and now it is dry. Revenge, that’s what it is. Damn, them – I am off to the car wash…”