Watch out for the water terrorists plundering your taps

Water, we are told, or the lack thereof, will be the cause of the next Great War.
As we prepare to mark the centenary of the bloodiest conflict South African troops have ever been involved in – Delville Wood – the next battle will not be fought over land, oil or religion. No, the final war will be over earth’s most basic resource – water.
There is no substitute for water. No synthetic fibre like using nylon for cotton or pirates parts on your car. The youngsters of the area put forward their ideas last week in the Rotary Club/Courier Water Saving Tip competition.
Their ideas surely show up the adults! Not a week goes by without the Courier receiving a complaint from a resident over a burst pipe pumping litres of the precious resource into the gutter. First, it was the Showgrounds where Umzinyathi workers simply cut the supply to save water. Now it is Glencoe Prison where hundreds of litres are going to waste from a leak on the property. The water was – up until Monday in any event – running down hill into Glencoe.
A burst apparently caused by a contractor. This leaves a dry taste in the mouth when your own household is without water for about 18 hours a day. Of course, only the higher ‘altitude’ areas of the municipal area are affected.
Those fortunate to live in lower areas always have a supply thanks to Mr Gravity.
This has caused a rift in the town. Water Terrorists are out there stealing water from homes ‘down south’. Armed with buckets, they can be seen patrolling in dark green uniforms – complete with snorkels to confuse the police.
Their modus operandi is to strike while their own areas are without water. So, this will be late at night and during the course of the day.
These highly trained men (and women!) can scale fences, run away from Mbubes and even dodge Preshu and his spinning guys. Some of the really ugly guys leave taps running to which gives the householder a huge bill and gets neighbours uptight about said neighbour wasting water.
This can really give you a bad name – worse than pouring out your heart on Facebook.
Police have been ordered to be on the look out for people driving and drinking water – bakkies carrying JoJo tanks have earmarked as enemy number one.
Watch out and close your taps. Meanwhile, the drought crisis has seen many people coming up with ideas: from cloud seeding, to piping up de-salinated seawater from the coast (using the PetroNet fuel lines that run from Durban to Gauteng) to towing up icebergs from Antartica to Durban….any ideas, people?