If someone you love has a drinking problem, you may be struggling with a number of painful emotions, including shame, fear, anger and self-blame. The problem may be so overwhelming that it seems easier to ignore it and pretend that nothing is wrong.
But in the long run, denying it will be more damaging to you, other family members, and the person with the drinking problem.
Things not to do:
Don’t attempt to punish, threaten, bribe, or preach. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to drink or use other drugs.
Don’t cover up or make excuses for the alcoholic or problem drinker or shield them from the realistic consequences of their behaviour. Don’t take over their responsibilities, leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.
Don’t hide or dump bottles, throw out drugs, or shelter them from situations where alcohol is present.
Don’t argue with the person when they are impaired.
Don’t try to drink along with the problem drinker.
Above all, don’t feel guilty or responsible for another’s behaviour.
Dealing with a loved one’s alcohol problem can be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s vital that you take care of yourself and get the support you need.
It’s also important to have people you can talk honestly and openly with about what you’re going through. A good place to start is by joining a group such as Al-Anon, a free peer support group for families coping with alcoholism. Listening to others with the same challenges can be a tremendous source of comfort and support.
You can also turn to trusted friends, a therapist, or people in your faith community.
Just for today
I know that looking good isn’t enough. Lasting recovery is an inside job. Uma unenkinga yophuzo oludakyo siza thintana nalezi nobolo ezingezanzi.
The AA Estcourt branch hosts meetings every Tuesday at Forderville Primary School from 7pm to 8pm. Contact Desigan on 082 849 3014, Roy on 081 874 8016 or Tony on 079 513 4422.
The AA Winterton branch hosts meetings every Thursday at the Springfield Church opposite the police station from 7pm to 8pm. Contact Dolly on 071 688 5330 or Virgilo on 079 688 0432.
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