He desperately tries to draw a breath, but his lungs have long since been destroyed by his choice. If only he was courageous enough to say no when he was 13.

She weeps silent tears in a back alley, in blood soaked pants. Feeling alone and guilty. If only she had realised her strength by not giving up her self-worth in a back seat three months prior.

She battles to control her shaking hands as she reaches for another shot of vodka. Her distorted grasp of reality and guilt betrays her weaknesses. If only she could believe that there was another way and not in her self-pity.

As he lay choking in his vomit and blood, his body shuddering and convulsing, his bowels release uncontrollably and his new ‘friends’ scatter into the darkness. He wishes that he could go back days, weeks, months. If only he’d said no.

He can still hear the screams of the boy he pushed too hard. In his anger at his life and circumstances, he took it out on a ‘weaker’ soul. Now he pays the price daily in his tiny over populated cubicle. If only he’d looked beyond his jealousy and fear.

It is always so much easier to keep quiet and give in to other people’s expectations. It’s so much less work to be a sheep than a shepherd. So, if you like to have no voice or life of your own, then carry on little sheep, you’re so much easier to control and manipulate.

The gift of life means nothing to you. You give nothing; share nothing, ungrateful for everything.

If only you could see what I see and the power you have, you’d gladly use your courage, even though it was hard to stand against a current. You’d still be here.

Rebecca Csabai

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