Parting Shot – Imagine running your life with a VAR system?
The VAR system could play havoc in Parliament too with politicians calling for replays of things they said and did not say
You know the old saying ‘I wish I could turn back time’? Correct the mistakes of the past, wishing you had not said the words you just uttered?
Every sports fan – well, in football, cricket and rugby – can now do exactly that thanks to V.A.R. – video assistant referee – as it is called in football.
That penalty that the referee awards in extra time sends fans into a depression… but, wait, the cold, emotionless VAR is called to adjudicate and after a torturous few minutes fate hangs in the air – and then, it comes, VAR says “no penalty – play on”.
Depression turns to joy. Then you get the Manchester City syndrome.
A goal in extra extra time… the manager charges down the touch line in joy, the fans and the players go mad.
Again, the dispassionate VAR is called in to rule. Immune to the roars from the cheering fans, he says “no player was off side”.
Sheepishly, the manager trudges back to his technical area. The fans fall silent – the players drop their shoulders. Fans across the world throw hard objects at their TV screens. The game is over.
VAR has changed many results, many feelings. Some say it is the correct thing because with so much money riding on sport these days, we cannot have mere humans ruling game-changing decisions.
We need cold robots.
But what if our own lives had a VAR? Forgot to have done your homework?
The teacher shouts at you and threatens you with detention. Wait, call in VAR. and go back in time and yes you get a chance to quickly do your homework and the threat turns into a gold star.
Forgot to put your 20 cents in one of Dundee’s ancient parking meters?
The traffic warden is writing a ticket… call in VAR – see, I put the money in – and the writing on the ticket evaporates.
Or better still; a harassed husband messes up the shopping list after a too-long stay at the Curry Parlour with the boys. So instead of milk, bread and washing power you come home with plums, powdered milk and sugar.
The wife turns into a furious Sharks fan and throws rotten naartjies at you. But, wait, lady, do not fret, let’s check VAR. You see, I did put those goodies in the basket, you just did not see it… and the threats turn into treats.
The VAR system could play havoc in Parliament too with politicians calling for replays of things they said and did not say. Local politicians could play the same game. “What you mean I promised to fix those potholes and build those RDP houses in Forestdale? Come on, call in VAR and let’s check.”
What seems an age passes as the humourless ref check and re-checks – and then the result?
“Politician said he wants the whole of the budget for himself not fixing potholes.
Politician said the houses will be built in 2065.”
You see, VAR could make the whole thing a bit like Alice in Wonderland – if it is not like that already.
HAVE YOUR SAY:
Like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter and Instagram or email us at dundee.courier@caxton.co.za. Add us on WhatsApp 071 277 1394.
