1.  Do not park in a disabled parking zone at the Dundee Boulevard Centre.  Irate shopkeepers, security guards and centre management just may deal with you in a manner that next time round, you will be forced to use said parking bay.

2.  Try not to park on the pavement in front of the Labour office.  Their own vehicles park there sometimes and you may be blocking them.

3.  Do not park anyone in on Beaconsfield Street.  The Courier will take a photo and name and shame you.

4.  Do not park facing oncoming traffic.  You are not a V.I..P. Only Mayors and others with chains can do that.

5.  Do not park with your tyre pressing into the pavement.  Does not look good and you are damaging municipal property.

6.  Try and park between the lines.  Remember your learning days before you got to be a know-it-all?

7. Do not reverse park into a parallel parking bay.  You are not a V.I.P. or someone with a tender.  Besides, you are confusing the car guards who may end up knocking on your back window instead of on the driver’s window in a bid to win your attention.

8. Do not be nasty – use your spare 20 cent pieces to feed those parking meters which visitors to our town are so fascinated with.

9.  Do not park in front of the Umzinyathi building.  Those guys have already booked those spots for themselves even though the sign R  (reserved for them) is not to be found in any driving instruction manual.

10.  If the parking bay lines are faded, use your imagination.