Coffin abandoned on suburban sidewalk
Dracula may just be homeless. An empty coffin was booked in by Linden SAPS in the early hours of this morning.
Linden police officers are dead on their feet after spending the night looking for the owner of an empty coffin found on a Blairgowrie pavement on 14 January.
An ADT reaction officer came upon the coffin in Bantam Drive just before midnight, under a near-full moon while on a proactive crime prevention patrol.
The reaction officer notified Linden Neighbourhood Watch (LNW) and the growing crowd went about trying to find the owner of the coffin, which sported a fresh coat of white paint and a quaint and comfortable lining.
“It was eerie and funny as hell at the same time,” LNW’s Fareed Hussein, who was one of the first on scene, told Northcliff Melville Times.
“At first we checked to see whether we were not in another Leon Schuster movie.”
When it became apparent that no zombies or vampires had been let loose in the streets, Linden SAPS was called to the scene to remove the coffin.
Local ward councillor Bruce Herbert expressed his surprise at the find.
“Blairgowrie is not a dying suburb,” he said wryly.
Although the stunt is suspected to be a prank, the owner is invited to claim the coffin from Linden police station.
Hussein is not quite sure how Dracula will open a case of theft of a coffin. “Dead for a millennium. No ID book. No permanent address,” he joked. “At least the mobile home could be returned to him if he came looking for it.”
So, if you see a dark figure skulking in the shadows, do not approach. He could just be armed to the teeth.
Call Van Helsing … er… Linden SAPS on 011 888 9211.
