Campaign challenges toxic masculinity: ‘Real men do cry’

Former AB Phokompe Secondary School learner Alice Ofentse Moleki recently returned to the school to give back through a programme that empowered children.

As a way of giving back, Alice organised the Boy Child Empowerment Programme with #EmpowertheBoyCampaign for learners in Grade 12. This is part of the University of Johannesburg’s Community Engagement, which Alice, a Master’s Candidate student and Psychology graduate, forms part of. She said that she saw it fit to have this event on Youth Day and to bring to attention the boys who have been lost to crime and societal challenges.

“God established man to lead. You can also achieve the same as a woman. I saw it necessary to give back to the community where I was a learner,” said Alice.

“It is so motivating to see an impressive team of academics that Alice has put together and motivate the learners who took their time to share their experiences in the spheres of tertiary education,” said MC Neo Mokobane, who is also a beauty therapist, model and former Miss Randfontein High School (RHS) runner-up.

Dominic Selemela told the learners that a tertiary school differs from a high school.

“You start to question your intelligence when you battle to get 50% in a subject; however, you must persevere,” Dominic said.

“I was once a bully to fit in until I saw I gained nothing.”

Siyathemba Gumede, author and three-year law student and English tutor, added that learners cannot be determined by a negative background.

She experienced gender-based violence (GBV) and was raised by her grandparents.

“My background is not different from most of you – I don’t know my parents. I only heard of GBV on TV after I experienced an attempted rape. Embrace your problems and move forward; turn obstacles into motivation. Matric is an important grade that determines the future.”

Student Thalita Mmaki, who is a disability and anti-bullying advocate, had an experience with bullying which almost led to suicide.

“Men can’t always show their emotions. In life, you need to take care of your body, mind and soul. It took courage for me to take a step to counter suicide and bullying,” Thalita said.

Lehlogonolo Mofokeng said that after matric, she became depressed.

“I wasn’t a smart or hard worker, but I was into music. I was raised by a single parent. To succeed, try to associate with positive friends and be content and dedicated if you want to achieve your dreams,” the Geography tutor, former Sedimosang Primary School and Phahama Secondary School learner, said.

“It is not a mistake to be a man. Man is a masterpiece of God,” said Onthatile Mashaba, a University of the Free State student who has a passion and love for helping others.

“Failure is the beginning of learning. Every learner is important. Thanks for this opportunity to empower boys to break the stigma that men cannot cry. Through this programme, we can tell black children that anything is possible. Psychology is my calling and teaching is my second calling,” said Ofentse Moleki.

She also added that it was tough for her to take a gap year, but with the right amount of motivation from loved ones, dreams can be achieved.