Church joins hands with police in hosting men’s dialogue and safety awareness conference
The conference was attended by Pretoria West police, who also highlighted that they have witnessed a high amount of hijackings and other crimes in their policing area.
Men were encouraged to speak up about their problems during the men’s conference hosted by the True Vine Foundation on Saturday, April 20 at the HMS Guest House in Pretoria West.
The conference was a first for the foundation since its inception earlier this year and was joined by partnering businesses, SAPS and men who live in and around the area.
Nhlanhla James Ngundu, also known as Prophet Blessed, says the conference and the foundation itself were not founded to solely address the societal issues of men (and communities at large), but also economic issues. Hence, business owners and partners were present to engage with attendees.
Crime in the area, reporting of incidents and what attendees can do to combat crime were also high on the agenda.
“A lot of men don’t talk. Men are facing a lot of challenges, you can find that someone is suffering today based on the values they were taught as a child. Things like a ‘man doesn’t cry’ or a ‘man is a rock’ – those values can be harmful,” Ngundu said.
“A common theme we found at the meeting is that many men don’t know who their fathers are and are using a surname that is not theirs. Fatherlessness can lead to other mental issues because they become confused about who their father is, where they are, and why they are being raised by their mothers while their friends have their fathers. Things like that, that sense of abandonment is an issue that contributes to other issues.”
Ngundu said a lot of men at the conference did not know how to report rape or domestic violence incidents perpetrated upon them. Men tend to feel stigmatised when opening up about issues of that nature and rather do not address them. This can lead to a host of issues in one’s personal and professional life.
“Men cannot talk, they don’t have anyone to turn to when they are going through challenges. We realised that when a lot of people came through and were able to air out their issues.
“Some homes are breaking because of unemployment, you can find that they are not respected by their families, spouses and community because of that. Society expects men to be strong but meanwhile, the child is hurting. There’s a boy child in every man that remains in there and when they go to their corners to cry that boy will come out because they don’t know who to talk to,” Ngundu said.
He said that continued isolation and rejection can lead men down the wrong path such as doing drugs or crimes or committing suicide the more the mental trauma goes unaddressed.
“We need to come out, talk about our problems and get help. If we need counselling so be it, guidance for pastors, so be it, whatever it is, let’s learn to open up and not struggle on our own,” he said.
Pretoria West police Constable Sibongile Vuma addressed the high crime issues affecting the west and urged the attendees to assist police in combatting these.
“In Pretoria West, we have a high number of hijackings, so high that I am even scared to drive in the west. These criminals don’t care,” Vuma said.
“Warn other people, especially in the residential areas, TUT students coming from home and villages, as they are unaware. They don’t know the area, they walk around using their phones and it’s not safe. We are trying our utmost but are asking you to assist us.
Vuma advised people not to go jogging with their phones. “Hijackings can happen at any time, you can open your gate in the morning and find them there,” Vuma said.
He also advised attendees that, should they feel that they were being followed, to avoid going to their homes as the perpetrators may have been monitoring their movements.
Vuma also called on men to come forward when they are victims of domestic violence incidents as it is not something that only women are subjected to.
“Stop trying to act tough and not report it. All that does is say that it’s okay for us as females to abuse because nothing will happen. If you don’t speak up and sit wondering what they will think of you at the station, you are causing the issue to grow. If someone breaks into your house and you don’t report it and then you say the police don’t work, it’s impossible for us if you don’t bring the case forward,” Vuma added.
She encouraged men to open cases when their person or property has been damaged and not simply chalk it up to “Oh, she was just a bit angry”.
“Things must change, people must learn that their actions come with consequences,” Vuma said.
She also assured the men that their cases would be heard with a sensitive and caring ear by police and though they have a few bad apples, help is always available.
“As we sit here, we are all different, it’s the same with SAPS. You can find those ‘old-fashioned’ ones who are unprofessional in that rare case. You are more than welcome to ask to speak to another constable or officer who can help you and report that staff member who didn’t.”
True Vine Foundation said it would also host a Women’s Conference later this year as the foundation is not solely for men but is committed to creating better communities and a country for all. A youth and child conference will follow.
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