The perils of the passenger seat… Here is an important tip for any would-be minibus taxi commuter. Avoid the passenger seat beside the driver at all costs. There are three important reasons for this if you value your sanity.
Sitting in that seat would remind you of the last words of Marlon Brando, playing the mad American marine in the movie Apocalypse Now. “The horror! The horror!”
If you, however, like living close to the edge, then this adrenaline-filled, wide-eyed rollercoaster ride into hell is just for you. Sitting in that seat, one lives through a horror movie or nightmare being played out right in front of your nose. You see the near misses and approaching trucks as the driver swerves through the traffic and change lanes in peak-hour traffic.
In that seat you are also right beside the blaring hooter, which is pressed non-stop. The constant blaring noise combined with the danger is an ideal cocktail for a nervous breakdown and to be carried screaming and deaf, bound in a straitjacket, when the trip is over.
Except for being very brave and astute, any would-be taxi commuter must also have the ability to make high-speed arithmetic calculations in their head, especially if sitting in the passenger seat. The person sitting there receives all the money from the passengers and must hand out the change, which is usually beside the driver in the vehicle’s ashtray. When you take a taxi from the taxi rank and it is full (from 15 to 30 passengers) and you sit in the passenger seat, you are in trouble, because everyone will pay at once.
They start from the back seat, passing their fares to the row in front of them until it reaches you. It differs from the correct fare, which is R12, sometimes in 10c pieces, to R20, R50 or R100 notes. Sometimes it is for one person, sometimes two or up to four. This they will shout out to you and you must pass the correct change back to the correct person.
Imagine the noise. The horn is blowing consistently, the driver is swearing at the top of his voice at other drivers while at the same time trying to engage you in a soccer conversation, the CD player is blaring with Barry White, passengers are shouting ‘R100 for one’, ‘R200 for four’, ‘R50 for two’. You sit with a huge pile of notes and change in your trembling hands trying to work out the correct change and the force be with you if you give the wrong change. You will have to live with icy stares directed at your back for the whole trip. It’s enough to make a person want to jump out of a moving taxi.
