Ralphie in the pooh!

Hroof hroof hroof. Usually it’s my own furry self that gets a talking to.

Like… when I’ve finished eating all the tasty morsels out of my brekky bowl and sneakily sidle over to polish off whatever Ralph was leaving for a snack later on.

Mom says in an outraged tone – Oi! Fudges! Don’t you dare snarf Ralphie’s pellets.

I look at her.

Why not?

Wait for her to do something else and quickly swallow them all down.

Then I lie under the table and wait for Ralph to come and twiddle himself around Mom’s ankles.

Shame Ralphie, she croons at him, did that nasty Fudges demolish all your food.

He meows plaintively.

Mom plops more pellets into his bowl.

Sucker!

He gobbles them quickly before I can nudge him out the way.

It’s not that I’m hungry – you understand.

It’s just that I mind sharing the spotlight with that dratted feline.

But on Sunday it was Ralphie’s turn.

He’s got this catnip stuff that he’s very fond of.

Mom grows some of it in a hanging basket so he can’t reach it.

When I say he’s very fond of it – that’s perhaps the understatement of the year.

He goes demented when he even catches a sniff of it.

Dry or green.

He rubs his nose in it, rolls in it and chomps it down.

If you don’t hand it over quickly enough he’s likely to tear a hole in your hand.

But… like I’ve said before – that Ralph is a bit doff.

Mom and Alpha had relocated one of their big bakkies of veggies that used to live on the stoep downstairs.

They moved it to the grass when it could get more sun and light.

Somehow or other Ralph figured his catnip was stashed in that container.

He prowled around it – sniffing the air.

Then he jumped up onto the top section and rootled around – not caring how much damage he did in the process.

By the time Alpha saw his precious veggies he gave a yelp of horror.

His tomatoes (with nice little red fruits on them) were dangling over the side, all bent and broken.

Ralph was sitting on the wall – looking like butter would not melt in his mouth.

Alpha’s a softie – he just gave Ralph the evil eye.

Mom, on the other paw, gave him a darn good talking to.

I smirked.