What is co-dependency and how does it play a role in the addictive cycle?

It’s been said that co-dependency is like an addiction. As substance abuse progresses to addiction, it can destroy even the most close-knit relationships.

Addiction makes it hard for a person to form or sustain healthy relationships, therefore it’s not surprising that co-dependency and addiction frequently occur together.

When each condition feeds off  and reinforces the other, it’s often hard to tell which one started it. When the causes of addiction and co-dependency are better understood, it can be simpler to recognise the need for help.

Understanding co-dependency

Co-dependency was first identified as a behavioural tendency in the early days of addiction treatment at alcohol and drug rehabilitation centres.

When addicts were receiving help from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), their spouses and partners often attended Al-Anon, a non-therapeutic support group for partners of alcoholics.

Over time, it became clear that there were commonalities among alcoholics’ partners, and that the quality of the alcoholic’s connection with his or her partner had an impact on the success of treatment.

In co-dependency, one loses the ability to make independent decisions about their life. Co-dependents are people-pleasers who prioritise their relationships with others over their own needs and goals.

Co-dependents frequently enable addicts due to a misguided belief that the addiction itself ensures the survival of the relationship by fuelling tension and drama, which is often substituted for healthy relationship dynamics.

In turn, addicts rely on their co-dependents to maintain their justifications for substance abuse. Addicts and their co-dependent partners have an unhealthy attraction to one another.

Treating addiction and co-dependency

You will most likely discover a co-dependent wherever there’s an alcoholic or drug addict. At the outset, it’s crucial to acknowledge that the addict himself bears sole responsibility for his actions.

Co-dependency does not mean you are responsible for another person’s addiction. True, those that struggle with co-dependency have their own unique behavioural issues. But the process of recovering from addiction can be greatly aided by the realisation of co-dependency in a relationship.

Oftentimes, a co-dependent will appear to be the loving and supportive partner to an addict. By making excuses for the addict’s conduct or repeating the lies they say to cover them up, you enable the addict to keep their addiction hidden from themselves and everyone around them.

Restoration of a healthy relationship is impossible without treating both co-dependency and addiction at the same time, just as it is necessary to treat depression and addiction simultaneously.

Final thoughts

Being in a co-dependent relationship can put your sobriety at risk if you’re already struggling with addiction. It may be impossible to break your addiction despite your partner’s best intentions since they have an unconscious urge for you to keep using.

In many cases, the people closest to an addict end up playing crucial roles inside the addict’s ongoing addiction. Nonetheless, it is possible to assist a loved one who is struggling with addiction without developing a co-dependent relationship with that person.

The trick is to be honest about the ways in which you may be helping your addicted partner, and the ways in which you may be damaging them. As such, behavioural therapy at rehabilitation centres can be especially useful in guiding both the addict and their co-dependent partner towards a healthier relationship.