The rescue of Joseph the amazing Saint Bernard

THE dramatic rescue operation of a saintly member of the noblest and most legendary of all rescue dogs, moved a vast voluntary army to join forces to save Joseph the Saintly St Bernard and bring him to an unlikely place for an alpine dog.

Richards Bay. Home of the hot and the bothered.

The impressive working dog, weighing in at about 80 kilograms of solid muscle, was employed as family guardian on the one-horse town of Petrus Steyn in the Free State.

A blue blood Saint from the champion bloodline, Youngstead, he mastered the typical arts of slobbering, drooling, releasing noxious gasses, consuming more than your average dog’s weekly rations in one sitting and leaving mountains as monuments to his appetite.

Despite his unrefined table manners and perpetual shedding, Joseph was a most valued Petrus Steyn resident, loved for his noble heart, valiant personality and dedication to duty.

Car sick

But, like the ill-tempered, formidable BA Barracus of the A-Team, who was knocked out prior to any flying mission, Joseph the giant, has travelling phobia.

When his family moved to Clarens, Joseph stubbornly refused relocation, electing to remain on his property with his co-worker and brother in arms, Jackson Nhlapo. When the house was sold and the news broken to Joseph, he strengthened his resolve.

The new owners were however equally adamant that they were not in the shovelling business.

And so, Joseph’s story grabbed the attention of top breeder Doline Myburgh of Qwynvere Saints. Whoever could move the mountain, could keep Joseph.

So, a Richards Bay family, enchanted by folklore of these gentle giants, stepped up to the challenges of moving an angry dog bigger than a man, adamant on digging in heals and vehemently opposed to a seven hour journey from the ‘Vrystaat’ to Bananaland.

As news of Joseph’s dilemma travelled via bush telegraph, vets, nurses, animal lovers, heavy lifters, farmers and prayer warriors joined Operation Joseph, armed with syringes, blankets, muzzles and a big trailer.

Despite some fearsome growling, sending rescuers bolting in all directions, followed by drunken staggering, the giant fell like a log, snoring loudly and occasionally letting off some backfire.

His new owners are grateful to report that after bearing some initial grudges and growling out his indignation, he has now taken to his new home in Richards Bay, slobbering happily, taking an occasional dip in the pool and licking the cat to death.