It’s the start of a new school year, and for many children countrywide this is the first time at a new school.
After so much time at home during lockdown, this year’s back to school is going to be even tougher for many children who’ve become accustomed to having parents around almost all the time.
But getting back into a regular school routine is beneficial for both the children and the parents.
Here are a few helpful tips to make the transition period that much easier.
Tip #1: Special goodbyes
You probably already have some sort of goodbye ritual with your child, whether it’s a special handshake, high five, butterfly kisses or something you always say. But if you don’t, now is the time to create one.
This really shouldn’t be something too lengthy, as you don’t need to drag out the goodbye, but a quick show of affection that is special to you both provides a sense of comfort before you leave. Don’t hang around thereafter, as it just takes him or her longer to settle.
Tip #2: Transition object
Many children have different transition objects that bring comfort in various phases of life. It’s very different, but this is usually something like a cuddly toy, doll, pillow or blanket. Sometimes it’s even something like a book or favourite cup. Whatever it is, make sure to pack it into your child’s bag every day, let them know that it’s there, and they will benefit from a little reminder of home in a new environment.
Tip #3: Don’t sneak off
Even if your child seems preoccupied, make sure you say a proper goodbye before leaving or you will cause separation anxiety. Your child will think you might simply disappear if they turn around, and you will be left with an even clingier child at home!
Rather perform your goodbye ritual before making a getaway. Remember that it can take up to 10 weeks for a child to be completely ready for school – although often it’s a lot quicker.
Tip #4: Don’t fear the tears
Tears are a very normal reaction to fear and anxiety, and convincing your child not to cry is actually more for your benefit than for theirs. Don’t compare him or her with other children that aren’t crying, it will just make them feel worse.
Rather let them get the emotion out, the tears will eventually stop when you leave and one day, there will be no more need for tears as they’ve worked through the emotions.
Tip #5: Give rewards
A reward system works well for many children, but avoid negative discouragement such as black marks during this emotional time. Discuss a treat your child would really like and agree to once they’re through the first week of school. It can be something like watching a favourite movie together, a little gift or a fun play date.
Tip #6: Communicate
Open and honest communication is always key, and you should never underestimate the importance of open communication with your child.
Talk to them about their school day, what to expect, things to look forward to and what could be causing them stress. And then work together to find a solution. Communication with your child’s teacher is also important. Let them know about any challenges they might have at home to make the transition easier.
Tip #7: Maintain enthusiasm
You might find one day is great, but the next day there are tears again. That’s normal, but it’s important to maintain enthusiasm about school and not let the stress and anxiety show.
Chat excitedly about the various school activities, be highly praising of any work completed, and talk animatedly about new friends at school. Positive associations will cross over into their school day.
Remember that you’re not alone in dealing with this transition, and that they will eventually adapt.
Obviously, there are situations where the school is not the right fit, but make sure to give it time and give your child the support and space to adjust to this new reality.
There are very few students crying as they start matric, so you have time!
