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It wasn’t Sona fashion, it was Sona table linen
The Best Dressed is undoubtedly UDM leader Bantu Holomisa.
Chief Justice Raymond Zondo arriving in Parliament at the City Hall of Cape Town, for the 2023 State of the Nation Address to be delivered in a Joint Sitting of the two Houses of Parliament by President Cyril Ramaphosa. Picture: Presidency/Twitter
It wasn’t all glad rags and pomp at this year’s red carpet run up to State of the Nation Address (Sona) last night. Instead, it felt more like a walk of shame at the Calamity Awards, with Cabinet up for several raspberries.
South Africa is in crisis, and at least the usual extravagance has seen a significant volume adjustment, downward. Apparently, the red carpet was even shorter than usual. Perhaps government has read the room.
There was also no fancy dinner planned for after the speech, and according to a government spokesperson, MPs have spent decidedly less on their outfits this year, opting for local designers instead of splurging on big brand, big price clobber.
Yet, the endless fleet of expensive German cars, some cheaper Lexus models, too, dropped off well-heeled ministers, deputy ministers and MPs in slow succession. Nobody arrived in a Toyota Corolla or a Ford Figo. Maybe next year.
But some of the designers must have been sewing in the dark.
First on the red carpet was what must have been an enthusiastic back bencher, dressed in a pink feather duster-like outfit, which set the tone for further expectations.
Minister in the Presidency, Mondli Gungubele must learn how to knot a tie. It looked more like a loose hanging noose.
His off-the-cuff diatribe about the ANC’s obligations in service of humanity, followed by a rapid fire comment that the party would never be comfortable when it cannot dictate the direction of the country, should it dip below 50% next year, evidenced that he may not only have choked on his tie had it tightened, but perhaps soon, also on his words.
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Deputy Minister of Sports and Recreation Nocawe Mafu arrived in a puffy green shiny curtain. She congratulated musician Zakes Bantwini on his shared Grammy Award, crediting him for putting South Africa on the map, and then correcting herself to say that the country is already on the map for many other reasons.
Problem is, that it’s for all the wrong reasons now.
Nobody knows that better than Public Enterprises Minister Pravin Gordhan, whose purple tie may hint at some of the frustration he must constantly feel with flaccid state-owned companies and the electricity crisis that was created by his government, but until now, all the minister’s horses and all the minister’s men, couldn’t fix Eskom again.
Tourism Minister Lindiwe Sisulu donned what looked like a flea market necklace of the eye of Horus, her traffic light red ensemble matched her mood.
She lashed out on camera about how she has been disrespected over the R1 billion Tottenham Hotspur debacle. It was a monologue of me, myself and I, while her hungry voters cry. R1 billion could feed millions of South Africans.
Most elegantly dressed of them all was acting public protector Kholeka Gcaleka, pretty in pink, with a superwoman-like capeish trail. Let’s hope she packs a punch this year.
As for the rest of the political glitterati, no stars really shone and no bling lit up Table Mountain. Most of the women looked as if they were dressed in various items of table linen – and that’s being kind. It was not a Sunday best kind of day. Yet you could probably bet your last tax rand that none of the looks were assembled at Mr Price or Pep.
If I were them, I’d not be boastful about the designers who clearly dressed them all in celebration, or damnation, of the state of the country.
The Democratic Alliance arrived dressed in black, all of them. It was a funeral procession of photo opportunity intent, but only a few people took notice. And if the lights went out, they’d have been as invisible as many voters feel that the party has been, anyway.
There was substantial visible policing though, which felt like suburbia’s unrequited fantasy. Mandla Mandela could have been mistaken for an officer of the law, too, in his all-blue, dictator-esque safari suit.
African Transformation Movement president Vuyolwethu Zungula wore a black shirt with what looked like an impressionist sunrise around his neck. Zweli Mkhize arrived kitted in a suit, when one would have expected him to don a cloak of shame.
United Democratic Movement leader Bantu Holomisa was the most handsome of them all and his red-carpet quote aptly acerbic. He simply said the ANC government has failed at many things and that, strictly speaking, “there’s no government here”.
The reported R8 million spent on the dull parade of folly was an empty state wallet badly spent. And at around R18 for a loaf of standard brown bread, the vastly reduced Sona budget could have bought six hundred thousand loaves of nourishment for the poor. At least this year, we’re told, champagne won’t be flowing on a beer budget. – news@citizen.co.za
Of course, the EFF didn’t bother either. The party arrived in its land invasion-ready clobber, trademark red overalls and its traditional and attitude that’s impossible to hide up any sleeves.
