It's matric results time, but what happens when marks don't meet expectations. It could trigger challenges in mental wellness, experts say.
Thousands of matriculants across South Africa have received their exam results. It’s the culmination of a dozen years of schooling and the beginning of a brand new phase in their lives. Results day can be a moment of elation or, for some young people, a devastating blow to their confidence.
Psychologist and medical doctor Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said that children react differently to academic disappointment, but parents often underestimate just how deeply those reactions can cut.
“For some matriculants, their self-worth is interminably tied to their academic success,” he said. “For these children, failure, whether actual or perceived, can be devastating to their self-esteem and can result in severe anxiety, depressive symptoms, or even suicidal behaviour.”
Results not as expected
A former matriculant who is now in their second year of study said that matric results day was awful and provided relief of knowing at the same time.
“While I passed with university exemption, my results were far from what I expected,” she said. “Despite support from my family, the pressure I had placed on myself was enormous. My boyfriend, at the time, pressured me to rewrite. I hated the holiday period preceding the results.”
It took her, she said, several months to come to terms with the final outcome of her scholastic career.
“I journaled my feelings as much as I could, as I was at risk of becoming depressed. The pressure valve had to burst at some point.”
ALSO READ: The small comments that bite with consequence.
Dr Redelinghuys said that pressure does not only come from parents. It’s not uncommon for learners to internalise expectations around bursaries, career ambitions and family identity.
“It is also sometimes the case that children attach their identities to being ‘the clever one’ in the family,” he said. “Challenges to this, particularly where there are underlying tendencies toward anxiety or depression, may result in significant distress.”
Social worker in private practice Carryn Hennessy said the emotional fallout often extends beyond the learner and rips through entire households.
“There can be a lot of anger, frustration and disappointment as a result of bad marks. It can leave families in turmoil and confusion about what the next steps should be,” she said.
She said some parents attempt to live through their children’s achievements.
“When the marks don’t meet expectations, there can be punishment, silence, anger or emotional withdrawal,” she said.
It could cause a lot of anger and frustration
Subtle disappointment, Dr Redelinghuys added, can do real damage.
“Even subtle disappointment from parents may worsen feelings of failure and hopelessness. In the long term, this has been tied to chronic anxiety, emptiness, apathy or avoidance of academic challenge in adulthood.”
He said many anxious and depressed adults were once high-performing children who grew up under heavy expectations.
“It becomes a very difficult task for parents to balance academic discipline with respect for mental health. It really is a difficult time to be a parent, and there is often no clear correct answer,” he said.
These kinds of reactions, Hennessey warned, can place vulnerable learners at risk.
“Withdrawal to their rooms, sleep difficulties, changes in eating habits and changes in social behaviour are all red flags parents should keep an eye on.”
Hennessy said home environments themselves also influence outcomes.
She said it was important for parents to remain actively involved.
“Children need to know they are loved regardless of whether they pass or fail. The formal schooling system does not fit every child, and many flourish in the workplace after school.
“If you feel something is not okay, rather reach out for support,” Hennessey said. “There are free and paid options available, depending on a family’s resources. They may need to look at alternative schooling, different career routes or practical job opportunities instead.”
‘It’s just matric’
Hennessy said that we live in a country that often treats matric as destiny.
“It is just matric,” she said. “It is important, but it is just one year. There are many ways forward, and many successful people had very different educational beginnings. That is okay too.”
NOW READ: Don’t let FOFO ruin 2026: The fear you didn’t know you had
