Holding parents accountable for bullying

When the video of Lufuno Mavhunga surfaced, and her subsequent death made headlines, we all had an opinion.

Many agreed those children who allegedly assaulted her should be dealt with in the strongest possible way, within the confines of the law, considering their ages.

We were united in saying that those who had a hand in her assault, no matter how indirect, should be punished.

Many spoke about what they would do if they were to find out their child was being bullied, yet no one spoke about what they would say or do if their child were the bully.

When do we, as parents, acknowledge that our children are far more than the angelic faces that smile at us in our homes.

In many cases, they are the reason other kids are afraid to go to school.

In this instance, why are we not held accountable as parents?

My father used to say my behaviour was an extension of his parenting abilities.

I appreciated that he meant he was with me through both good and bad; until his dying day he was accountable for my behaviour.

In my four years as a parent, this has also been my motto.

How my son conducts himself is a reflection on me as a parent. I am in close and constant contact with his school and I am an active and present parent.

I am this way because I refuse to let him escape my observations and possible interventions.

While my son, and every child, is not a miniature version of those that raise them, they are the products of the homes and environments in which they grow up in.

They are the extensions of homes with either no rules, or rules that guide them.

We may be livid at the children that perpetuate these crimes, but do we ask ourselves about the role played by the parents in this despicable behaviour?

While we prepare our children as best we can to never tolerate being bullied, we never educate them about the necessity to never become one of the bullies.

It’s as simple as emphasising the “do unto others as you would have done to you” principle.

Kekeletso Nakeli-Dhliwayo.