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By Amanda Watson

News Editor


Today’s good story is…

No water, endless chores, and flypaper-like humidity. Joburg's leaky pipe saga reveals city chaos and craters.


Ah yes, the joys of having no water. It’s like camping, but with no end game. Of course, it’s “camping” with responsibilities, after all. Dishes, laundry, cranky children who need to bathe before going to school, the list is endless. ALSO READ: Joburg slips toward catastrophe – WaterCAN And no number of wet wipes prevent one feeling like flypaper and in the current heat and rain, flies always seem to be able to sniff one out. Yes, one is speaking in the third person because the first person doesn’t believe perambulating fly paper should be able to talk. Or type.…

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Ah yes, the joys of having no water. It’s like camping, but with no end game.

Of course, it’s “camping” with responsibilities, after all. Dishes, laundry, cranky children who need to bathe before going to school, the list is endless.

ALSO READ: Joburg slips toward catastrophe – WaterCAN

And no number of wet wipes prevent one feeling like flypaper and in the current heat and rain, flies always seem to be able to sniff one out.

Yes, one is speaking in the third person because the first person doesn’t believe perambulating fly paper should be able to talk. Or type.

And while one’s water was yesterday slowly returning, true to form a few metres away from the original pipe burst, the line has sprung a leak and is bubbling up from deep.

Which means it will have to be excavated as well, the water supply switched off, the pipes drained, patched and then another crater left for months on end while the city ignores reinstating it.

Speaking of which, where does all the soil go from these metres’ deep holes?

It seems to be part of the city of Joburg’s unofficial land redistribution programme, make a crater, ignore it bar a yellow barrier plastic thing which is inevitably stolen and then hope for the rain to wash all the soil back into the hole again.

Some craters could almost form the beginnings of a missile silo. Almost. Maybe not really, though.

Minuteman III missiles weigh in at a little more the 36 tons, achieve a top speed of Mach 23 (24 000km/h) and the US has 400 of these at an air force base. That’s a lot of pothole.

ALSO READ: Johannesburg water crisis deepens: Taps remain dry, recovery could take days

Maybe, instead of sending US Secretary of State Antony Blinken to monitor elections, the US could just quietly point a couple in our direction as a subtle warning to politicians to say, stop your shyte and do your jobs.

Although, it is probably on us to tell politicians when they are dropping the ball.

Of course, we are ignored as a road excavation right up until general election time, when they come a-knocking currying favour.

Thank goodness for high walls and electric fences.

One can be as accepting of how life in this country means no electricity, no water and precious few jobs as one likes, doesn’t take away from the fact there is precious little electricity, very constrained water supply where leaks contribute almost as much as residents to overall water usage and a perpetual lack of jobs.

But, hey, there’s a good story to tell, says President Cyril Ramaphosa from his electrified government home with borehole water. And today’s good story is, maybe some of us will have water.

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