It’s election time again…vote for the Mixed Masala party

It’s that time of the year when people are getting ready to vote, to make their voices heard and make a decision that will greatly impact the country.
No, it isn’t voting for the next South African Idol – though the next season is starting. It’s the National Elections.
Excitement starts to build as the elections draw nearer, and political parties jockey for votes.
Tactics generally include bribing voters with food and free T-shirts, as well as making outlandish promises which are never kept. Then there’s the bragging, that they have done so much already and brought so many services to the people. In Dannhauser, the ruling party is already taking credit for the soon-to-be opened hospital. The hospital is an initiative of the provincial government, and the local municipality has no involvement in it, yet application forms for jobs there can be obtained at the party’s offices. Political parties have also started claiming responsibility for anything popular nowadays. The statue outside the Endumeni Municipality was proudly brought to you by the ANC, though it is not certain whether they have paid for it or not. Loadshedding was brought to you by the Eskom Party, and biased reporting was proudly brought to you by the SABC. Corruption was proudly brought to you by the Fat Cats Party, the only party who are ‘tender’ when it comes to the needs of the people.

This column was proudly brought to you by the Mixed Masala Party.
We promise free mutton breyani for every voter (vegetable breyani for the vegetarians), a free Bollywood DVD (movie of your choice while stocks last), and a Sharukh Khan poster, signed by none other than Uncle Bobby from Chatsworth (who may or may not be a relative of Sharukh).
Party members also get a lifetime supply of masala and other spices, and a free gold tooth put in during their next dental appointment. Any councillors found guilty of corruption will be given a shoe hiding in public and then sent back home. Our slogan: ‘Adding some spice to your life and masala to your pot!’ The Mixed Masala Party is the only party where you can have a party (or bhangra).
While this may not attract many, if any, voters, it promises to be more entertaining than some of the other parties’ antics. Only time will tell though who the people vote for, but until then let’s see what the current parties bring us, or at least claim to bring us…