Celebrating the World Cup, Indian style

To say this World Cup has been a bit shocking is an understatement.
Why, this World Cup is as much of a shock as that time when Uncle Bala said no to a free dop at the local tavern.
Defending Champions Spain were the first big name casualties, followed by Australia, Cameroon, Honduras and then England.
Two losses and Bobby’s your uncle – England is gone. 
Bobby’s your uncle? Surely that can’t be right, you must be wondering? Well it is. Indians, over the years, have developed their own figures of speech, words and phrases that sum up how we feel. Growing up in a small town like Dannhauser, one becomes accustomed to hearing these phrases on a daily basis. Bobby’s your uncle is the same as Bob’s your uncle, only with Uncle Bobby in starring role because, let’s face it, everyone likes Uncle Bobby.
Then there’s ‘Ayo ma, what like that?’
This is an expression of shock, which essentially means, ‘How that happened?’ There have been numerous times when it has been used during this World Cup: “Ayo ma, what like that? How England lost eh?”
Then there’s ‘A dop in the hand is worth two in the store’, although many would say they would rather have two dops than the one. Indians also have unique words that one always wonders where it comes from. Take ‘minril’ for instance, which means cooldrink. It’s always awkward the first time someone asks you to fetch the minril from the fridge and you have no idea what you’re looking for. There’s also ‘potter marie’ (spellings vary), which means a stupid person, to put it mildly… The English team can boast having a few potter maries in their team, especially those suspect defenders. 
There are many Indian words and terms, too many to fit in one column, but if you hear a few strange ones during the World Cup, don’t be alarmed.
“Cameway, we’ll get one bunny chow at Dev’s and watch the game an’all,” is merely an invitation to watch the soccer at the Curry Parlour while feasting on the delicious Indian cuisine – bunny chow. (For the record, Dev does make one awesome bunny chow.) 
So as you watch the rest of the World Cup, spare a thought for the Indian people. We may not have a team in the tournament, but our words will come to mind as more of the favourites get knocked out and a bunch of ‘gundus’ (stupids) win the trophy.