How Angelina and Brad came to adopt a poor Endumeni kid

Angelina and Brad have announced that they are adopting a South African toddler. The child, who cannot be identified at this stage to protect Angelina and Brad, will be picked up by the Hollywood power couple on February 29.
In a brief statement read out to the Courier adjacent to a water tanker, parked on a non-existent road in Strathmore Park, the couple’s press officer Spin Doctor Waterless, said Angelina and Brad had been touched by the child’s plight.
“The child is growing up in the Endumeni area of KwaZulu-Natal where there is no water (at night, anyway) and constant load shedding. They also know that his poor parents have been forced to dodge bomb threats in recent weeks and have also had to cope with avoiding the numerous coal trucks that thunder through the town – daily and nightly.
“We have seen the desperate litter situation – especially outside Goodluck Supermarket – the 20cent parking meters, the hawkers one has to avoid when going into ABSA Bank – and realise that this child will only really blossom in the artificial world of Hollywood.”
Spin Doctor Waterless said Angelina and Brad had taken a ‘whistle-stop’ tour of the area and knew that they would be doing the child a great injustice if they did not intervene.
“I think it was the trip to Wasbank that really convinced them.
“Brad has always had a love for trains and railways and the appalling state of Wasbank station moved him into the Wasbank hotel where he tried to buy a Black Label.
“However, a goat thwarted his attempt as he walked towards the entrance.
“Later his hired SUV came a cropper on one of those little hiking trails masquerading as roads.
“By then load shedding had come in meaning that Brad was left in the dark. It was enough and they left for Glencoe.”
Strangely, we were told, the Hollywood stars were taken in by NGL’s charms. “It was the fact that there was no load shedding that really impressed Angelina – she was even able to have her hair done without her session being interrupted for two hours. Brad went down to the railway station and while it too is in a shocking state, at least he did not trip up over a goat.”
A quick call-in at Endumeni Municipality also proved an eye opener.
“Brad immediately called his agent when he was told they were so many acting managers in the place.
“A couple may have roles in the next Jack Black movie.”
While sipping water from a water tanker, they came across the ragged child and his poor parents. Their hearts were moved.
As was Brad’s stomach after he bravely took a sip from the container the parents had taken along to collect water.
And now this poor child will have to get used to the trappings of Hollywood with all the vice and avarice that goes on there.
There really should be a law against this.