The life of a learner driver… better than 10 toes

After taking countless taxis, moving around with NGL/NDE ten toes and even taking lifts with that creepy uncle that smells of fish oil, one comes to realise its time to get driving.
Driving legally of course because while purchasing your license may seem appealing it isn’t when you kill someone or worse get told you park like you bought your license at Mugg ‘n Bean.
So off you go to the Testing grounds, among many hopeful souls who are yet to see what lies ahead. The date is given and then the studying comes till you sleep command signs, wake up road rules and get through your day with vehicle controls.
Well the day comes, your fingers glide across the screen till you see the screen turning green meaning you have passed. A big smile envelopes your face and you think the worst is over.
But then…
The gruesome images of accidents splayed across the screen send your brain in a tizz.
If you drink and drive you can decapicate someone, if you talk on the phone you behead a child and at the end of the session you sit holding your heart thinking if you get your learners, you get anxiety, stress, grey hair and, in some cases, financial bills.
So the fun begins. Day one you get behind the wheel all ready to go because you’ve dreamed of driving all your life. But sadly in dreams you only see the steering and not what lies beside it or underneath it.
Boy oh boy you in for a surprise…
So you get into the car and suddenly it looks like a spaceship with all the controls. Nonetheless, you put your ‘pokerface’ on or in this case ‘nascar driver face’. And then you are off with your instructor barking instructions,”observations, more clutch control, turn properly, this is not your mothers breyani don’t drop the clutch like a hot potato”.
Now if the stress of learning to drive doesn’t give you a heart attack, the failing robots or the people treating the road as a catwalk would. Not forgetting the goats and the car guards who hassle you just because they see you behind the wheel because duh! wheels mean ching ching.
And then there are the irate drivers who hoot at you like it’s a wedding procession or those who clearly show that they have bought their licenses from Pep Stores.
Nevertheless, you push on and start gaining confidence – a bit too much some would say – because suddenly, before you know it, a gate appears in your way and kaboom, another bill. Well they say you have to have accidents because practice makes perfect but eish! after that everything changes. Instead of dropping the clutch like a hot potato you treat it like a new born baby and refuse to let go off it.
This, lo and behold, results in you going backward rather than forwards, but, hey these are the things that must be done. It’s either that or NGL/NDE ten toes!