Harry Mama to the rescue this Valentine’s Day

The red plague arriveth. No, it’s just Valentine’s Day that draweth near.
The one time of the year when people rush out to spend money on teddy bears and cards which will probably get burnt or thrown away as soon as the relationship ends.
The only time more money is spent on stuff that isn’t needed, is when government workers steal tax payers money for their own use.
All honesty aside, Valentine’s Day is that one day of the year when people go out of their way to spoil their loved ones, or those they like, while undoing all that hard work every other day of the year.
It’s the day when the colours red and pink are out in full force, when fluffy toys are given a chance at having happy homes and when people consume chocolate without the fear of getting fat. Valentine’s Day is also a chance for the true hopeless romantics of the world to shine and prove that true love still exists in the world.
However, there are many hopeless romantics out there who may be just hopeless when it comes to winning someone over this Valentine’s Day. To help, we contacted love expert, Harry ‘The Love Guru’ Laljith for advice.
Harry Mama, as he is more commonly known, is only considered an expert because he’s been married more times than he cares to remember and divorced just as much. “When you see a nice stekkie, don’t be shy, just vy choon her how you feel. If you play slow she’s going to find one nother thumbi to date.”
“Also, even though it may be cheaper, don’t take flowers from the graveyard, not only is it wrong but there’s a poor selection there.”
Harry Mama also had advice for all the girls out there too shy to make the first move.
“What like that all shy shy. If you don’t let that fellah know how you feel, what he must do, guess? And whatever you do, don’t say ‘thank you bhaiya’ when he gives you a gift.”
Harry Mama urged men to take their women out to dinner on the day and not expect home cooked meals. “Make it romantic right. You can’t eat chicken breyani and soji on that night, must take her somewhere fancy.”
With sound advice from a love expert and still time to plan a romantic day ahead, there’s no excuse for not doing anything this Valentine’s Day. Just remember to have a shower afterwards, whatever you do.