Everything goes better after another shot with Uncle Bobby

There’s a new form of culinary expert that’s gaining notoriety, especially at Indian functions.
No, it isn’t the uncle who makes the breyani, or that aunty who serves up the delicious soji, it’s the guy who keeps everyone’s thirst quenched.
They’re called liquid chefs and they’re considered a must-have at any function by some and a nuisance at any function by others.
Liquid chefs know the right alcohol-to-dash ratio, making them the designated supplier and pourer among friends. They always have their trusty cooler box, stocked to the top, in the boot of their cars, ready for whenever they are called into action. Liquid chefs are always popular among the men, who during intervals, or ‘toilet breaks’, sneak off to the parking area to sample the cuisine.
Some functions are more lenient and welcome liquid chefs to bring their ingredients into the venue, provided they put it under the table and be discreet about it.
Some functions are more strict though and ban the use of such liquids outright, however, some chefs still try to sneak it in, or indulge beforehand.
It’s unclear why some people can’t make it through a function without the aid of certain liquids. Resident liquid chef, Bobby ‘Bells’ Maharaj, said that his social circles improved greatly once he took up the profession. “No one wanted to hang out with an old ballie like me, you know these laaities think they know everything. But once I started serving the dop, everything changed. One two aunties even smile at me when they walk past.”
Uncle Bobby then explained the premise behind liquid chefs. “You know, some of these functions start so late and are so long, we have to have something to keep us going.”
The key, according to Uncle Bobby, is to make sure everyone is refreshed at all times, even if they don’t think they need it.
“What you do is pour a little in the cap and then walk around forcing everyone you see to dop it down. Even if they say they don’t want, you know they really want it.”
These antics don’t sit well with many, who see the liquid chef as a bad role model who ruins social outings with his choice in ‘appetisers’. They believe that you don’t need alcohol to have a good time and that you shouldn’t force it down someone’s throats just because you like the taste. However, this doesn’t affect Uncle Bobby.
“Whenever I hear someone complain, I just have one another shot and everything is better.”