You have an image of yourself that you want other people to adopt. You think people expect that of you or would like you better if that’s who you were, so you pretend to be that person.

Over time, you put on layers of protection to prevent people from seeing the imperfections.

You refuse to admit to those imperfections.

You may also blame others, the weather, or fate for any perceived failure – anything but yourself.

As a result, you can’t interact with people in a real way because you can never let your guard down and be yourself.

That way your relationships are less than they could be. And you can’t really grow as a person, because that would involve admitting you have a weakness.

The more time you spend being this polished up version of yourself, the more removed you became from who you actually are.

It may sound like I was conceited and super full of myself, but that wasn’t really it.

You firmly believe you are perfect and you work on everyone else believing this too.

You have to pretend, you become terrified of anyone finding out it wasn’t true.

When one finally came to terms with the fact that playing perfect (unsuccessfully) was a terrible way to go about being happy, having real relationships, and making choices in life, it scares you.

This means you will have to do something you never really had before – admit weaknesses, admit needing help with things, admit mistakes were your fault, not someone else’s or just bad luck.

Peeling off the layers of protection is an on-going process. But it will allow you to reach out for help and truly grow as a person for the first time in a long time.