Change is coming to South Africa.
Whether it be good or bad change, is yet to be seen. With a new President at the helm and a new cabinet at his command, it’s still too early to say what the future of the country holds. It is promising though.
What isn’t promising though is our sporting teams. Bafana hasn’t shown any signs of winning since the 1996 African Cup of Nations.
The Springboks are at the rebuilding stage after firing Allister Coetzee and hiring Rassie Erasmus. And the Proteas are collapsing quicker than the Gupta empire after JZ resigned. Speaking of Bra Jacob, as much as it pains anyone to admit, he would be the perfect Sports Minister.
With Jacob in charge of Sports, Bafana would return to their former glory.
Jacob, an expert at ‘passing’ the blame and ‘striking’ when the moment is right, has ‘scored’ a new house complete with firepool that he can work out of. JZ’s excellent ties with Russia will also serve us well during the World Cup in June. Bafana would be given an automatic entry into the competition despite not qualifying for the sporting showcase.
Bra Jacob would also help the Proteas to win their first major trophy. Everyone knows that the only person harder to get out than Virat Kohli is JZ. No matter how many bouncers or yorkers were sent his way, JZ stood firm, defending his wickets. He even scored a massive 783 (charges against him) in the process, the most by any President. He also was never dismissed.
Sadly the ANC declared and JZ was forced to make his way back to the pavilion.
Under JZ’s rule, dodgeball would become a national sport as well. Who’s better at dodging charges and accusations than him and his cronies? We would be world champions.
Oakbay Investments will be the new sponsor for the Springboks and their training camps will be held at Saxonworld, next to the shebeen that Brian Molefe frequents. KFC would also become the official food and beverage partner of all the national teams (at least it’s not Enterprise or Rainbow).
So what is the President waiting for?
Let’s appoint JZ now and watch how sport takes off, just like the Guptas took off when they heard criminal charges were opened against them.
