We live in a society of “main chicks and side chicks” which I personally think is bizarre as I’m no-one’s “chick”, but a woman and that is it.
One may wonder how different the two levels are in relationships… Well, let me highlight it for you. Firstly the main chick is your known spouse, the love of your life and the woman of the house as others may put it. Being the main chick is the level all women aspire to be known as, as it comes with some sort of dignity and respect to one’s womanhood.
This woman is known to the family and friends, she may attend all important functions at her spouse’s home and she may think that she’s the ONLY woman in her man’s life which is not always the case.
As the main chick, you do all the household chores like the laundry, the ironing and the day-to-day taking care of your spouse which at this level of the relationship you practically refer to him as your husband (even though he hasn’t paid a dime for you, sadly). You convince yourself that he is properly saving for lobola money, that’s why he hasn’t married you.
The status that comes with being the main chick raises one’s hopes of one day becoming a Mrs, which in some instances never happens.
Then there is the infamous side chick who does not care about her partner’s other relationship. All she cares about are the perks that come with being a side chick.
The luxury trips, the pampering, the endless shopping sprees and of cause the making out. One of my friends once said these piercing words: “I am a side chick and its perfect for me”. I failed to understand how she would stoop so low being such a beautiful young woman. I could not help but judge her (it’s wrong I know but still).
She justified herself by saying she has been hurt too many times being the main chick and she’s tired of putting herself out there to love and being rejected in the end.
So her solution to her misery was being someone’s spouse without having to deal with all the drama that comes with “serious relationships”. She claims dating a married man works for her especially because she doesn’t have to perform any wifely duties nor take care of a grown man.
This made me wonder though how long do these women keep it up for? Just imagine when you are with your partner, getting all cozy, and his phone rings and he tells you to be quiet. I honestly could not live with that especially being the loudmouth that I am. Having to sneak in and out of hotels may be fun in the beginning, but a year down the line it may cause heartache knowing full well that you are nothing but a dirty little secret that is kept from the world. What happens when you need him and he cant avail himself because he is spending time with his family?
Trust me he will not always be there when you need him the most – he is a committed man after all – remember. The financial freedom that you get from him won’t last forever especially if he is building a stable future with someone else.
The man may feel as though he is getting the best of both worlds, but on the contrary, he is actually opening himself up to diseases and may end up losing a woman that he claims to truly love. As women let us not allow ourselves to be used as side dishes for a man to offload their fantasies. Love yourself enough to be alone if Mr Right is still daydreaming somewhere on the face of the earth.
