How a dog can sometimes pull the wool over your eyes…

A Cape Town visitor  touring the Northern KZN Battlefields was curious to know ‘what news one gets to fill a weekly local newspaper’.

“They cannot be much happening here – it is a small town, the grass is green and the most interesting aspect that I have seen so far besides the battlefields of course are your ancient 20 cent parking meters.” With that Selwyn Lange proceeded to take photographs of those battered parking meters to send them to family members in Seattle.

Well, we did not to warn Mr Lange that we are living in times of mayhem and loathing, just like everyone else south of Mars, but we did assure him that you do not have to look too hard to find the unusual, those nuggets  that even Hollywood’s best script writers could never dream up.

Take this one from the Dundee SAPS. A small crime ‘brief’ – to use newspaper parlance – can turn out to be a bizarre gem. It goes like this: A man was at his home at Stratford farm last week when a neighbour informed him that his pet dog had returned home with sheep testicles…

Now, this brings to the fore all kinds of thoughts. Was this man’s pet dog feeling sheepish about the fact that he was canine while inside there was a Merino dying to get out of that skin?  Who around here does species changing operations on animals?  Would Lady Gaga – she of the genderless generation thought police – approve of a dog with sheeps’ testicles?

Are even pets like dogs losing their minds as society seems to take one weird turn after another?  What food would this new look sheep now eat?  Would Bobtail still do or will he go full vegetarian like a good little sheep? These questions went through our minds as we read this report. And another thing – what would the police exactly investigate?

Species change without the consent of the dog’s owner? The owner must be troubled – he maybe used his loyal canine as a guard dog, now he has a sheep…

But turn the page of the report… and there you see they were trying to pull the wool over our eyes. The dog had apparently bitten off a ram’s testicles and ran back into the neighbour’s house with said body parts. The remains of the sheep were a little further away.  Half skinned too.

That in itself is pretty bizarre. Especially if you are the sheep. But again, the importance of how you word stuff is so important. Do it properly and there would be no need to feel sheepish. But again, this is Noord Natal not Cape Town, Mr Lange…

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