Ladies fail to bring order in Mick’s Rules
A number of our club bowlers have come through to play competitive bowls, and the organisers hope that many more will do so in the future
The once sacred and hallowed institution of Mick’s Rules was in December sadly disturbed with the news that ladies would be allowed to play in this, the special Christmas edition.
In some quarters, this was met with humphs and grumphs, and much mumbling into beer glasses, while in other quarters, it was met with many squeals of delight and joyous celebration. To appease the diehard fans and followers of Mick’s Rules, a sacrificial lamb was offered up for lunch, free of charge. This did win a few of them over and when the others were enticed by the old adage of “it is the time of caring, etc, etc, and that we should be more giving, blah, blah, blah, and that it would only happen once a year”, the rinks filled up with players.
The organisers were excited that the controls would be taken away from them by the ladies and that the day would pass with military precision.
However, they were sadly disappointed, as this did not materialise and the confusion, disorder, havoc and general disorganisation which makes this tournament so popular reigned supreme. So well done to the organisers for that.
The ladies were all abuzz with excitement, and showing bewildering enthusiasm not seen since the last male strippers show in town, they charged off to the rink where the bowls or something resembling the game started. The format was changed so one would play more than one team on the day rather than the same opponents. This made life very difficult for the men, as it meant more paperwork in keeping track of the teams and the scores, which proved very taxing on the brain, especially on a Sunday. After the first round, there were eight winners and eight losers, which makes sense, as there were only 16 teams playing.
After round two, there were a few less winners, but by then nobody seemed to care. The third and final round produced some great upsets with “them beating those”, “those beating them” as well as “them and those beating those and them”.
After a long and really hot morning, the only winner for sure was the bar. The winner could not be announced at prize-giving, as there was no prize-giving and nobody knows who won. This is because the scorer, to hide any mistakes, ate the results. Brett Gilder took this as a sign that people were starving and said “give me your tired, your hungry and your homeless, and I will feed you”, and promptly (if you know him) got someone else to carve up the lamb he donated for lunch.
After some succulent lambasted lamb, the bowlers gathered around the bar to pay tribute to the two stalwarts of Mick’s Rules who are no longer with us, ie Mick Mortimer and Ian Holding, in the best way possible by having a few refreshments. Stories of old were told that brought back wonderful memories while some newer ones added to the ever-growing folklore and legend that is Mick’s Rules.
A number of our club bowlers have come through to play competitive bowls, and the organisers hope that many more will do so in the future.
A big thanks to Dave, Pier and the vast number of experts who give up their time and advice to ensure that the men enjoy their freedom to be boys, on seven or eight Sundays a year. We, at Mick’s Rules, would like to wish all our supporters, readers, fellow bowlers, families and friends a wonderful 2018 of fun and prosperity.
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