Her everyday WhatsApp messages, sound advice and bubbly personality are what Binni Magdeline Mogaki’s family say they miss most about her.
It has been a year since the 67-year-old was brutally murdered. Her family says there have been no ways to cope with what has happened. Mogaki was found at her house in Ikageng on 17 July 2021. Police noticed that she had been strangled to death with the piece of string found around her neck. During the initial investigation, it was established that the deceased lived alone and that only her cell phone and house keys were missing.
A year later, her family says they are still trying to navigate their way through life. Brenda Nyokong, Mogaki’s only child, says a part of her died when she lost her mother. Brenda, a teacher, has not been able to return to work since the incident. Instead, she spends her days trying to hold on to the good memories they created as a family.
“My mother was the only elder left in the family. Everyone would go to her for advice. Now that she is gone, I automatically had to fill those shoes, which are, honestly, just too big for me,” she lamented.
Visibly distraught, Brenda said she recently started driving herself around because she could not think straight. “I avoid people because I am always absent-minded,” she said. “I was almost involved in a few accidents, so my family decided I should rather be driven around instead.” But even though she has started getting around, things will never be the same for the family.
“Maybe if she had died from an illness, then her death would be much easier to accept,” Brenda added.
Paul Nyokong, Brenda’s husband, says his wife has not been the same since her mother was murdered. “During our daily prayer on the night of the 16th, my wife started having a bad feeling and cried uncontrollably; we couldn’t figure out why,” he explained.
To the family’s disbelief, their most prized possession was taken away from them the following day. “You can’t call something like this an act of God. My mother-in-law was extremely healthy and always ensured she took good care of herself. We still expected to have her in our lives for many more years,” Paul said. “She has truly been stolen from us.”
Paul, who has been Brenda’s biggest support, says he is also having difficulty accepting what has happened. “My mother-in-law was such a sweet and loving person. She would often be mistaken for being arrogant because of her quiet demeanour, but she was the exact opposite once you got to know her,” he said.
Paul says although they were always close to Mogaki, they became much closer as a family during her last few years – almost as if she was bidding them goodbye. “We spent most of our time with her, be it Mother’s Day, birthdays or even regular outings. She was always with us,” he said.
The couple says it is especially heartbreaking to witness what the situation has done to their children. “Our daughters were extremely close to their grandmother, and it has become evident that losing her has left a huge void that even we can’t fill,” Paul explained.
According to him, their youngest, Tshegetsang Nyokong, who is doing her final year at the NWU would often visit her grandmother on weekends and go back to res without her parents’ knowledge, even though their home was only a few kilometres away. Brenda says there are days when Tshegetsang calls them late at night, crying and saying she misses her grandmother terribly.
“I was extremely close to her, and I considered her more of a best friend than my grandmother,” Tshegetsang recalled.
The third-year student says her busy schedule often distracts her from reality, but her world comes crumbling down every time she remembers her best friend. “How we lost her was traumatic and premature. I truly miss her sense of humour, and it hurts that I will never experience it again,” she said.
Their eldest daughter Ofentse and their son-in-law Neo Matlala say they have been taking things day by day but are also struggling to come to terms with what has happened. “At the end of the day, we have unanswered questions, which makes it even more difficult to accept our loss,” Neo said.
“She was our prayer warrior and a source of positive energy for us. She would always be able to lift our spirits, even without us explaining a situation to her. We really miss her,” he said.
Ofentse, who was raised by her grandmother, says she always considered her the healthiest person in their family, so no one expected her death anytime soon. “We only hear of such stories on TV,” she said
“ Losing her has completely changed me. I can no longer watch shows that I often used to watch like Ufelani or even engage in conversations about murders at the office,” she said.
“We try to hold on to the Word and lean on each other as a family. We really hope we will find justice and that a message will be sent out to the community,” she said.
For now, the family is hoping for justice to be served. They added that what hurt the most was seeing the suspect show no remorse when he appeared in court in October last year.” We just want to know why; then, maybe only then will we start taking steps to find closure,” Paul concluded.
The family awaits the trial set to take place next month on 29 September.
