September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. This is a day that reminds us of something we often forget. You never really know what someone else is going through.

The person smiling at you in the shop. The colleague who always says they are fine. The friend who has stopped answering messages. The teenager who suddenly seems distant. The family member who has been unusually quiet.

Sometimes, the people who are struggling the most are the ones who are best at hiding it.

World Suicide Prevention Day is not about frightening people. It is about creating awareness, breaking the silence and reminding those who are struggling that they are not alone, and help is available.

According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), suicide remains a serious issue in South Africa, and recognising warning signs and starting conversations can help save lives.

What should we look out for?

There isn’t always one obvious sign that someone is thinking about suicide. However, changes in behaviour can sometimes tell us that someone is not coping.

Some warning signs can include:

• – Talking about death, suicide or feeling like life isn’t worth living.
• – Saying things such as, “Everyone would be better off without me.”
• – Withdrawing from friends and family.
• – Losing interest in things they normally enjoy.
• – Feeling hopeless, trapped or like there is no way forward.
• – Major changes in sleeping or eating habits.
• – Increased use of alcohol or drugs.
• – Giving away treasured belongings.
• – Saying goodbye or putting their affairs in order.
• – Taking unusual risks or displaying self-destructive behaviour.

And here is something important: never dismiss someone simply because you think they are “just looking for attention”.

If somebody talks about suicide, take them seriously.

So, what can YOU do?

You don’t need to be a psychologist. You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes you simply need to be willing to ask a question and listen to the answer.

Ask:

“Are you okay?”

And if you’re genuinely worried, ask directly:

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

Talking about suicide does not “put the idea into someone’s head”. In fact, opening up a safe, non-judgemental conversation can give someone an opportunity to finally say what they have been too afraid to say. SADAG encourages people to listen without judgement, take disclosures seriously and connect the person with professional help.

• Don’t tell them to “just be positive”.
• Don’t compare their problems to somebody else’s.
• Don’t tell them that other people have it worse.

Instead, listen.

Say:

• “I’m here.”
• “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
• “Let’s get you some help.”

And then stay involved. Help them contact a professional, call a helpline or get to a safe place if necessary.

And if YOU are the one struggling…

Please hear this:

• You don’t have to have everything figured out today.
• You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay.
• You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.

Whatever has happened, however hopeless things may feel right now, your current situation does not have to be the end of your story.

Tell somebody

• Send the message.
• Make the phone call.
• Sit next to someone.
• Ask for help.

Even if you don’t know exactly what you need, simply saying “I’m not okay” is a start.

In South Africa, SADAG’s Suicide Crisis Helpline is available 24 hours a day on 0800 567 567. SADAG also provides WhatsApp support during specified hours and can connect people with professional services and support groups.

If someone is in immediate danger, don’t leave them alone. Get urgent professional or emergency assistance.

Let’s make checking in normal

Maybe World Suicide Prevention Day should remind us that we don’t need a special day to care.

Because sometimes the person who needs you most won’t ask you to stay.

Sometimes they will simply say, “I’m fine.”

And sometimes, taking the time to ask one more question can make all the difference.

You never know whose life you might change simply by showing up, listening and reminding someone that they matter.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts in South Africa, contact SADAG’s 24-hour Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567 for support.