How to keep a cool head with a full house

POLOKWANE – Review spoke to registered counsellor, Maphuti Mashiane, about what people can do to keep calm when tempers flare between families.

“I have dealt with many cases over the five years I’ve been practising where families are on the verge of falling apart over small things such as not agreeing and not feeling comfortable to share among others. I have found in most cases it is teenagers who are most often involved in these quarrels. In my line of work it is my responsibility to ensure I get the family to sit down and talk about such sensitive issues and also their feelings towards one another. It gives me great joy when I succeed at this,” said Mashiane.

Mashiane added there are several ways which families can keep calm during the festive season.

These are:

• “Go home with a positive mentality and tell yourself that you are going to relax and bond with your family,” he said.
• If a moment heats up, Mashiane advised everyone to gather enough courage, strength and patience to walk out for a few minutes to clam down then come back to talk about the issue instead of staying in that heated moment which might lead to you saying something which may hurt and break the other person apart emotionally.
• “Always be weary of things you say or comments you pass on to another person to avoid hurting other people,” said Mashiane.
• Lower your expectations, “because like it or not, you may be in the same family sharing the same but the truth is you are all unique and therefore have different interests in life. It is important for people to always be weary of this,” he explained.
• “Family members need to bear in mind that they are living apart for a reason, so when they come back together under one roof they need to remember they will share many things including rooms to sleep in. Fights over something so simple can tear families apart, I have seen it happen and it is heart breaking,” he added.

reporter29@nmgroup.co.za