Lockdown blues, or lock down the blues!
The lockdown has a tremendous effect on the way we long for far-away family members
POLOKWANE – Despite technology and the adeptness with which it was embraced, people still need each other on a more social level than simply a screen.
The nationwide lockdown has had a tremendous effect on the way people long for family members who might find themselves in another city, province or even country.
A video call, messaging service or online meeting simply doesn’t suffice. Having no idea when next you will see your loved ones in person, is no laughing matter.
Dr Jaco Putter, a pastoral counsellor from Polokwane says that the experience of this out-of-control feeling may be overwhelming in an unprecedented time like this.
“We don’t like the feeling of being out of control, especially when it comes to our loved ones. The problem is that this feeling can become unbearable in a time like the lockdown.”
People respond differently to isolation and loneliness.
“Too much time alone can make one vulnerable, because of loneliness and thoughts that sometimes run away with you. If you are serious about your relationship and family, you will use this time to strengthen your relationships.”
Now is the time to focus on quality time and not quantity, is his advice.
“People need interaction to survive mentally and emotionally and therefore it is important to structure your communication with your partner. Spend time to communicate your needs to each other and be intuitive when you respond to each other’s needs. Plan the future and talk about the things you will do together after the lockdown. Comfort your partner and provide security that will strengthen emotional and mental bonds.”
If you’re religious, spend some time reading and in prayer, he adds.
“Motivate each other to stay active, to do something creative and to stay positive. This will make both more productive and can strengthen your relationship.”
According to Putter, the current lockdown can also be a particularly challenging time for parents and children who have been separated for whatever reason.
When children and parents are separated by reasons beyond their control, they must remember that this time will also pass, he says. There are certain elements, though, that parents can focus on:
“Your child depends on you emotionally, cognitively and physically. This means they need security. When you have children in your life your mindset must have already been changed by now. This is a time to get rid of fixed mindsets because things change a lot.”
Putter says adults need to help their children develop a they may face challenges and unfamiliar territory. This is experienced differently throughout the different phases of childhood. Adults need to affirm their love and presence to children so that their children can experience their emotional and spiritual support physically, or via technology.
“All parties involved in the child’s life must work as a team in the interest of the child to ensure that the child is cared for in all aspects. When we know that our loved ones are cared for, our desire to see them and concerns are not that overwhelming. If you suspect that there is a problem beyond your power, then it is within your rights to seek help to ensure that the child is cared for and safe.”
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