I am convinced that, if you ever had to look up the meaning of ‘coffee lover’ in the dictionary, you would find a photo of me with a coffee mug in my hand.
For many people, coffee is a beverage that they enjoy on occasion, but, to me, it is a matter of survival, and I have been known to become quite a grump without it. One of my favourite sayings is, “I do not drink coffee to wake up, I wake up to drink coffee”.
I have also been told (many, many, many times!) that too much coffee is bad for you. To be honest, I have never been able to comprehend the phrase, ‘too much coffee’ as I am a firm believer that there is no such thing.
But, I know that my mother has always been fond of telling me that ‘alles wat ‘n te aan het, is nie goed nie’ (everything preceded by ‘too’ is not good), so, with my coffee mug in my hand, I went exploring on Google to see just exactly what too much coffee means and when you should stop drinking it.
So, after a bit of searching (and social media scrolling) I found a post on the Coffee Memes Facebook page, telling me that, apparently I have been wrong; there are definitely some instances that indicate you maybe should slow down with the cuppa joe.
You should stop drinking coffee if:
• You chew on other people’s fingernails
• You can type sixty words per minute with your feet
• You short out motion detectors
• Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house
• You help your dog chase its tail
• All your children are named “Joe”
• You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”
• You get drunk just so you can sober up
• You pour coffee on a choking victim because CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation”
• You can jump-start your car without cables
• You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them
• You ski uphill
• You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realise it’s not plugged in
• You channel-surf faster without a remote
• You’re so wired, your ears pick up AM radio
• You can outlast the Energizer bunny
• Your doctor tells you, your blood type is coffee
• The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
• You answer the door before people knock
• Your morning cup of coffee is so strong it wakes up the neighbours
• You think on the eighth day God created coffee
• You look at energy drinks and laugh really, really loud
After reading this, I realised maybe I should have stopped drinking coffee a long time ago, but, my mother did not raise a quitter, and, without coffee fuelling my razor-sharp wit and sustaining my sunny personality, who knows what the world will be like?
Until next week, stay safe and look out for each other …
