How to deal with grief during the festive season
The festive season presents joyous moments and celebrations, however it is not the case for some families faced with crippling grief and memories of lost loved ones.
AS we enter into a season of joy, peace, love, and good tidings, for some there is a lingering sense of loss — losing a loved one, a job, a relationship, or even an expected success at a business opportunity or study.
Samentha Reddy, a mental health registered nurse, shares her insight on the loaded matter of grief during the festive season, and how to cope.
“Grief is universal, a human experience that we all go through. It is a natural response to any kind of loss. The most important thing is that celebrating or not celebrating the festive season is entirely your choice. The stages of grief and the experience are complex but our individual process is different. As time moves on we learn to adjust and celebrate the festive holidays with a sense of gratitude for what we have in the present. Regular activities provide an essential and normal distraction from internal pain,” Reddy says.
Also read: Coming to terms with grief and loss
She relates her personal experience. “My eldest sister passed away eight years ago at the age of 40 following a battle with lung cancer. My professional background has allowed me to study grief, and read books and the process that surrounds it. I made progress over the years and I wanted to share some things that have helped me to cope with grief through the holidays, with the hope that it will help people in the same boat.”
Tips to help you cope with grief:
• Therapy or counselling can help you cope with grief and acknowledge that this is a difficult year for you. Communicate with your family, close friends, and spiritual support groups that are available.
• Be kind to yourself and be patient. There is no self-compassion for the healing process and self-compassion can go a long way during this time.
• Expect your sleeping patterns to be altered. You will be vulnerable and have changes in your emotions. Realise that you will be feeling many emotions and thoughts, including being angry at your loved one for leaving you.
Also read: Helping your child navigate death and grief
• You have the choice to opt out of holiday festivities because you do not feel like celebrating. You are not obligated to participate.
• Nourish and hydrate yourself by having healthy small meals. Distract yourself by doing simple stretches in the morning, taking a walk and getting Vitamin D.
• Reach out to support groups in your community when you need to talk about your feelings about the loss and good memories. It will help you to deplete the anxiety.
• Journaling your thoughts is a good way to express your grief, especially during the moments you don’t want to talk or share the emotions that you are experiencing.
Reddy concludes that, “One doesn’t have to be in agony all the time to work through their grief, and it is okay to take a break from the heartache of loss. Just remember you will experience periods of anger, sadness, resentment and numbness but you will get better over time.”
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