
Dear ‘John’,
Since the free and fair elections took place, we have been providing a very lucrative service in the Glenwood area. We would like to bring it to your attention, if you haven’t noticed it already.
We know you have high standards; that is why the Glenwood area provides for ALL your needs!
Where else would you get young girls/ladies that show you all their wares without you having to get out of your car.
Once you have made your choice, all you have to do is stop your car and she will provide the most exotic services imaginable, again, without you exiting your vehicle at all, whether it be day or night.
We hope they don’t charge you too much? Or leave without satisfying your every need, after all, that would be illegal wouldn’t it?
Guidelines can be found in the by-laws under the Free and Fair Trade section, should you be dissatisfied.
To this end, (if you will pardon the pun) we provide clean pavements and manicured lawns for your litter; gardens for ablution purposes; steps and railings to lounge on outside our homes; business’s and local churches as a socializing area available at all hours. We all feel safe there, why wouldn’t you?
Sundays. Unfortunately, everyone has to stop for worship.
We could provide security and a sleeping-in-a-cell service it is available and paid for, but this does not seem to be a popular service.
We will keep plugging it, nonetheless.
To you, John, the visitor to our wonderful suburb, we provide, surveillance cameras, a registration service on Facebook free of charge. Don’t worry we will do all the work in recording all dates and times, together with the vehicle you were using on that day, should you need to claim from your company petty cash or insurance. We aim to please, so should you. We can throw in a GPS reading should you require it at no extra charge.
So hook up with your friends now, we are on Facebook. Look for the site called “NAME and SHAME”, your host is James.
We will soon be providing a photographic service to enhance your experience in our beautiful leafy suburb, something to show your grandchildren. Don’t worry, we hope to capture the moment from the best angle. This will be displayed on Facebook for you as well.
The history of Glenwood and its beautifully tree-lined roads and avenues, that we have enjoyed for many years, can be found on our website www.whatoncewas.co.za.
Our Motto: We will never Surrender.
Regards
Your Local Property Owners,
In the lovey leafy suburb of Glenwood.