Read more
Between studying, side hustles and WhatsApp storms, most Gen Zs barely have time for their own thoughts, let alone high-maintenance relationships.
Gen Z dislikes complex couplings. Picture iStock
Romance can be overrated, and so can hours of endless swiping left and right on dating apps, not to mention the cycle of drinks at bars, buying drinks for a cutie in the corner or, for that matter, eternal date night. At least that’s according to a growing number of Gen Zers who are swapping candlelit dinners and romcoms and sexting for something far more simple.
Friends with benefits or FWB, is intimacy served with simplicity. It’s the bring it on without the string it along.
Clinical psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said that the change toward this type of intimate relationship is simply about putting your cards on the table and being straightforward about wants, desires and turn-offs. “It is not that Gen Z fears commitment,” he said. “They value authenticity and autonomy. Having friends with benefits allows them to explore connection without the societal script of traditional relationships.”
Seven reasons for FWB
It delivers sex without emotional pressure
FWB removes performance anxiety of the emotional kind. Nobody has to flick-flak or tiptoe on a date or put their best foot forward to get some nookie. “It’s about sharing intimacy without the morning after ‘awalkward’,” said Dr Redelinghuys. “It’s a conscious decision to separate physical needs from emotional entanglement.”
Friendship and trust
When you trust a friend, it makes everything easier, say Gen Zs. There’s no expectation beyond a good time. Afterwards, it’s a slap on the back, and after her bra is fastened, you can still go out for a beer with mates. “Being able to have regular great sex with someone I actually know, like, trust and respect? Hell yeah,” wrote a Reddit user. Dr Redelinghuys added, “Trust is the key differentiator here. FWB isn’t about random hook-ups. It’s about familiarity, comfort, and honesty.”
Also Read: Why are we so negative? An expert answers
Diary-flexible
Between studying, side hustles and WhatsApp storms, most Gen Zs barely have time for their own thoughts, let alone high-maintenance relationships. It’s fast-paced, and having friends who can turn on the tap of a bit of naughty whenever cuts out date nights and emotionally draining check-ins or ‘where are yous’.
It’s not about avoiding relationships, said Dr Redelinghuys. “They are choosing what fits their lives right now. It’s pragmatism, not detachment.”
No-bungle booty
Judgement-free exploration
It’s a space that friends create for one another where anything can go, measured against mutual consent and boundaries. A space where Gen Zs say they try new things like exploring fantasies or just getting in touch and comfy with your own naughtiness.
It’s judgment-free, and a subreddit user expressed it aptly: “Allow me to finally meet, explore, control, and work on accepting my sexuality… I’m proud of myself.”
According to Dr Redelinghuys, “The Gen Z generation is highly self-aware. FWB gives them a playground for discovery without the weight of emotional expectations.”
Post Breakup Comfort
Who wants to get back in the dating game after a breakup, anyway? Nobody wants to go swimming with sharks right after being bitten. Instead, Gen Zs look for companionship on an emotional and physical level. It’s companionship without pressure, a familiar body without the need to get into anything emotional. “There’s a psychological reassurance in reconnecting with someone familiar,” said Dr Redelinghuys. “It allows for emotional healing while maintaining boundaries.”
Forget soap operas
Bye Bye Drama
Gen Z does not seem into the drama of dating. It can be exhausting. The texting, ghosting, situationships, checking in, checking out. Wondering about I love yous. Friends with benefits skip the queue and go straight to fun, honesty and, well, comfort.
“The two most honest, pure, uncomplicated and beautiful relationships I ever experienced were FWB,” a Reddit user confessed in r/AskWomen. Dr Redelinghuys agreed, “Sometimes simplicity is healthier. FWB can be a drama-free arrangement when both parties communicate openly and respect the rules.”
Deeper connections without blunt force trauma
Not every friends-with-benefits situation must be without strings, forever. It could start that way, but sometimes, it grows into something real, deep, and well beyond what either party may have expected. And the beauty of it would have been that there was no pressure upfront, no emotional blunt force trauma.
Dr Redelinghuys said that friendship lays a strong foundation for any relationship. When intimacy is layered on top, deeper connections often emerge organically. And, according to Reddit users, it happens more often than people admit. “It started as casual, but we grew closer because we were just so honest from the start,” one user shared.
