Back then, being a wife came with a manual...
How things have changed, even though male-first traditionalists may have wanted them to stay the same as mid last century.
Housewives may be dull and desperate on television, as all the Housewives Of Whatever reality shows have hurled at audiences, but in real life it is a far cry from what the 1950/60s expected. Back then, being a wife came with a manual that read like a cross between a finishing school textbook and the rules for making beds, just right.
Today’s Gen Z would rather eat cold pizza on the couch than play the role of obedient hostess. That is, if they’re not tradwives (traditional wives).
The home, as a museum
Seventy five years ago a good wife would have cleared away the clutter, shushed appliances and dusted every bit of the home before her husband arrived home.
He’d cross the threshold from another taxing day at work, into a hotel, practically. Or a museum, because everything had to be in its place so that he could read the paper in peace and be served.
“Please,” said 19-year-old Gen Z Alleah Church from the East Rand.
“My house will never be spotless, especially once I have kids. If he wants clean floors he must learn to levitate. These days that kind of servitude is wishful thinking on anyone’s part and I know a better use for a broomstick.”
Spoeg en plak or spit and polish
It was recommended that every woman read handbooks detailing good wifely behaviours. Many noted that a spouse must have 15 minutes of rest before her husband got home.
It wasn’t for a catnap. Instead, she would use this time to touch up her makeup, brush her hair and greet him “a little gay and a little more interesting”. The goal was to refresh herself like a decorative cushion.
Church said that if her partner expected this from her, she’d choke him with the cushion instead. Gen Zs do not care about appearance or gender roles and rules, she said.
“Even if I welcome my partner home looking like a swamp creature, he must just love me harder. Make up and hair is optional, it’s not a movie set.”
Kids are props on set
Just like women were expected to dust the vases and sweep the floors, so too did they have to wash the kids’ faces, brush their hair and change their clothes before dad got home. They had to be presentable and welcome him home like little cherubs by the front door.
“One day when I do have children,” Church said. “I would rather have their faces smeared in dirt and dad’s pants all dirty because kids are only kids once. If he wants clean clothes after, he must change after the hug and then wash his own pants.”
Master of one or none?
The old ways instructed wives never to question their husband’s judgement or integrity because he was the “master of the house” and would always be right.
Obedience was not just encouraged; it was a prerequisite. Gen Z’s wouldn’t stand for it, said Church. “In today’s world, no one is the master of the house.”
“This isn’t BDSM where there’s a master and a servant, lol. We both pay the Wi-Fi, so we both get to talk.”
Served hand and foot and…
Guides told women to have dinner ready for hubby dearest but first, greet him with a warm smile, offer a drink, fluff his pillow and even take off his shoes. Service him as if he were a car in her workshop.
Prepare a hot meal. All without complaining. But, said Church, that’s a Gen Z nightmare.
“My partner knew from the day we started dating, I don’t cook and I don’t clean,” Church said. “I know how, I just don’t enjoy that kind of whipping in general.”
