Making a couple’s big day perfect is more than just an event; it’s a curated mix of love, planning and family dynamics.
It’s almost spring and wedding season is fast approaching. While many brides-to-be are dreaming of a fairytale celebration while becoming the complete opposite, Bridezillas, there’s one role in the casting call who’s seen all the ups and downs behind the scenes – the wedding planner.
Che Rosser of Langhams in Fourways has been planning weddings for well over a decade and said that for her, making a couple’s big day perfect is more than just an event; it’s a curated mix of love, planning and family dynamics. It’s complex and emotionally charged, but it always ends up well on the day.
“When couples first come to us, they have this image in their minds of what their wedding should look like,” she said. “Perfect, stress-free and without drama. But what they don’t realise is that it’s not just about the ceremony and the romantic photo shoot. it’s everything that leads up to it.”
The planning is stressful, feelings run amok and often couples are faced with unexpected challenges. It’s the job of a wedding planner to help manage those moments and let the couple have their romance while the planner deals with the sweat.
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“Brides often come in with the expectation that everything will go off without a hitch, but it’s much more complicated than that,” she said.
“It’s not just the coordination; it’s the family dynamics. Parents often want to have a big say and the bride’s vision can sometimes clash with their own. We try to manage that relationship and keep everything in balance.”
Family politics are not easy to navigate and Rosser said that a simple self-reminder, that the day is not just about the couple, is important.
“Yes, it’s your wedding day, but your families want to feel involved, too. Don’t forget to consider their feelings and make them part of the process. It’s about bringing everyone together and celebrating as a family.”
But the big question is where. Wedding venues are often booked up well in advance. Rosser suggested that at least eight months prior to tying the knot, planning starts.
“It’s important to get the venue booked first and foremost. The venue will set the tone for the entire day and once you’ve got that locked in, you can begin focusing on all the other details.”
Book your venue early
Finances are always one of the first items on anyone’s checklist. Footing the bill for weddings has seen some changes over the years, with many parents paying the entire bill for their children’s weddings.
“Traditionally, the bride’s family covers the catering and decor, and the groom’s family takes care of the bar tab,” said Rosser. “But we’ve seen more couples where parents fund the entire wedding now. It certainly helps take some of the pressure off the bride and groom.”
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Seating arrangements are often a point of tension, with old family feuds and personality clashes sometimes creating headaches. “The seating chart is where a lot of the drama happens,” shared Rosser.
“Deciding who sits next to whom, which aunt gets placed next to that cousin and so on. They can really turn into major issues. But if you keep the focus on the couple and remind everyone that it’s about love and family, it helps ease some of the tension.”
Weddings have also become just as much about what’s posted online as the actual event. “Brides are very aware of the image they want to project on social media,” said Rosser.
“It’s not just about the day itself; it’s about how they want their guests to perceive the event for posterity. We’re seeing more couples who want to control the narrative, often banning photos and videos, unless they supply the images, to keep things curated.”
Tradition reconsidered
Tradition is also being reconsidered. “Moments like cake cutting, are slowly disappearing,” she said. “We’re seeing couples opting for more creative alternatives, like donut walls or candy stations to personalise their day. The key is to make the experience memorable and not just for the couple but for their guests as well.”
Entertainment too is changing with live bands trumping over deejays and wedding games and fun activities planned for dead-time while couples are having pics done.
What hasn’t changed are the groomsmen’s party vibe. “One of the most important things we manage is making sure that the groomsmen stay sober before the ceremony.
“They tend to get to the venue first, and it’s easy for them to have a drink or two before the festivities begin. We’re always reminding them that they need to be on their best behaviour for the vows,” she shared.
Then, before walking down the aisle, brides should make sure that they have a checklist down pat. “Don’t forget the small stuff,” said Rosser.
“The things like packing a sewing kit, your bobby pins, or any last-minute items you might need. Those little things can make a huge difference in keeping everything on track. Also, brides should stay on top of the schedule. It’s no longer fashionable to be late.”
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