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By Hein Kaiser


Choosing chores over sex? Here’s how you can change that

If you feel that your time between the sheets has become as exciting as watching paint dry, do not despair.

Sex can become like peeling a potato. You can do it with your eyes closed and, it has the potential of becoming mundane and a chore. Life’s just like that.

If you feel that your time between the sheets has become as exciting as watching paint dry, do not despair, as reigniting passion in your sex life may not be as challenging as you think.

Sexual wellness coach Lindiwe Rasekoala said: “There are plenty of ways to keep the fire alive and to reignite your sex life, and to ensure that it is healthy and always exciting.” She said that five simple tools can do the trick.

Rasekoala said: “The first thing is getting comfortable in your body. Now, know it sounds cliché because everybody says you need to get to know your body by masturbating, for example”.

But she said that in this instance, it’s more about getting comfortable inside your own skin, it’s about your own self-confidence and self-esteem.

She suggested: “You can do this through movements such as yoga, for example, or even just dance. Dance is a great way to kind of just feel sensual and feel good and to take note of your body and how it changes and how it looks and how it moves”.

The daily humdrum of cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids can also take its toll.

Rasekoala suggested that couples and individuals reactivate their dopamine experiences. That is, in short, self-reward and the pleasure principle.

She said: “Sometimes you need something exciting to kind of just shake things up. Things like going on a hike or picnic or things that are outside of your everyday life and your comfort zone can bring about closeness and intimacy because you’re doing something new, and it’s exciting to do that with your partner”.

This in turn will boost your sex life.

Watch: Expert shares 5 tips to spark up your sex life

Then, there’s some intimate television time in the reignition of your sex life recipe.

She said: “I suggest that couples watch an erotic movie together, and I’m not talking about your typical, everyday porn. I’m talking about actual movies that have storylines, things that are more erotic than they are very highly sexual. So, watch an erotic movie together or read some erotic novels together. Sometimes just hearing a story might turn you on. You never really know until you try it”.

Also Read: Sex is as important as going to the gym says expert

A sex life reboot does require effort and commitment from both partners.

Rasekoala noted: “Doing something exciting with your partner can bring about closeness and intimacy. But so can going on a getaway and being out of your general comfort zone. Make time to go away. It doesn’t have to be very far out of town, that doesn’t have to be another country. It can literally just be an Airbnb for the night to just to do something that’s outside of your regular routine.”

And getting physical without having sex adds the cherry on top. Rasekoala suggests mutual masturbation.

“I am a firm believer in mutual masturbation. Watching your partner masturbate can teach you so much about their pace, their pressure, the things that they like in terms of positions, some people might need a pillow to hold onto, and some people might need penetration and clitoral stimulation.

“And when you’re watching a male partner, they might necessarily focus on the head, or they might like the shaft or the testes. Whatever the case is, watching your partner masturbate can ensure that you are creating excitement, keeping the fire alive. But it’s also a learning and teaching moment, so don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

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