Why are we so negative? An expert answers

Why is it that, while we all want to see the glass as half full, we tend to see it as half empty? Why do we forget the congratulations but remember the insult? What is it about the human condition that makes us default to the negative?

Even if all humans were chocolate cupcakes, the salted caramel icing may taste more snarky than delectable at times. It’s called negativity bias, and it seems to be baked into the fibre of who we are as people.

“Our brains evolved to keep us alive, not to keep us happy,” said medical doctor and psychologist Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys.

“In ancient times, noticing a rustle in the bushes could have meant a predator was nearby, ready to eat us,” he said. “That kind of vigilance helped our ancestors survive. But now the same reaction kicks in when someone ignores your message on WhatsApp or frowns in a meeting.”

It’s fight or flight, expressed differently.

Natural switch to negativity

In a study conducted at the University of Chicago, participants were shown a series of images.

Some were positive, like pizza or luxury cars. Others were neutral, such as a light switch or a dish. The rest were clearly negative, including photos of injuries and dead animals.

The brain’s response was much more intense to the negative images, suggesting we are primed to react to unpleasantness more strongly and more quickly.

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This also plays out in news coverage.

Political communication researchers Stuart Soroka, Patrick Fournier and Lilach Nir studied audiences across 17 countries and found that people consistently paid more attention to negative news than to positive stories.

Their research measured physical and emotional reactions to video news content and revealed a global pattern that human beings are simply more aroused by negativity.

“This is why doomscrolling on devices exists,” said Dr Redelinghuys. “It’s not that the world has become more terrible. It’s that we are more likely to notice and believe the terrible parts of it.”

Right now, people have a myriad of options to scroll to, like the Israel, Iran, Gaza conflict, Ukraine and Russia, Cash in Transit Heists in Mzansi, and thieving politicians.

“It’s a feast of negativity made accessible by the internet and its platforms,” said Dr Redelinghuys.

We absorb negativity easier

The problem, he said, is that we don’t just see the stuff, we absorb it.

“It colours the way we think, the choices we make and the way we relate to other people,” he said.

“A boss berating you at work sticks with you longer than a kind word from the same person. A failed job interview might haunt you for weeks. One strange look or word from someone else can ruin a perfectly decent day.”

“After that, you can give someone all the validation in the world, but it’s the one piece of criticism they remember. That one moment becomes the headline in their thoughts.

Online forums are full of people feeling challenged with this exact experience.

One user on Reddit wrote, “I know when something is objectively fine, but my emotions just won’t accept it. I live in this loop of expecting things to go wrong.”

Another shared, “I’ve turned my life around completely, but I still only see the failures. It’s like I only know how to function through negativity.”

It’s not easy to shut your mind up or to learn how to avoid the potholes of negative bias.

“You don’t silence it completely,” said Dr Redelinghuys. “But you can learn to notice it for what it is and stop letting it control the narrative of your life.”

Mindfulness can help

Mindfulness can work.

A study by researchers Kiken and Shook in 2011 found that people who practised mindful breathing became more aware of positive experiences and developed more optimistic attitudes.

Other tools include journaling, reframing and making a conscious effort to notice the good things when they happen.

“It’s not about pretending everything is perfect,” noted Dr Redelinghuys. “It’s about giving positive moments a fair chance to land. The brain is already keeping score of everything that went wrong. Balance that out.”

Cognitive restructuring is a big term, but an easier implementation. This is where you actively challenge negative thoughts, consciously, and replace them with more balanced notions.

Another simple idea, Dr Redelinghuys suggested, is to linger longer in the good moments of life.

“Take a moment to fully enjoy the meal, the compliment, the peaceful evening. Let it register,” he suggested.

“You do not have to be blindly optimistic. But you can stop treating the negative as the only truth worth knowing fully.”

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