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By Hein Kaiser


10 easy things to try to spice up your sex life

Make time between the sheets fun with these ten tips on how to spice up your sex life with your partner. Be naughty and play nice.

Good sex can change your life and, as many studies have shown over the years, sex can improve your life in many aspects including mental health, improve trust and intimacy in relationships and, on a more selfish note, give each person a good, intense workout, reduce stress and increase individual levels of happiness. But good sex does not always come naturally, and in the nine-to-five rat rate, enhancing your sex life may require a bit of extra effort. Here are 7 ways to do just that.

Make a date for sex

Everything else is calendarized, so why not some intimacy. Diarize your lovemaking, but keep it interesting, There is nothing quite like a midday quickie somewhere naughty, making a lunch break a bit more interesting. Or, that sense of anticipation when your phone reminds you of some upcoming nookie later in the day. Making a sex date can help couples reconnect, and nurture intimate thoughts about one another well before getting naked.

Forget about normal

More couples are trying out different things to keep the bedroom alive with passion. Sex does not have to mean penetration. Touching, oral sex, toys and a bit of light bondage can get pulses racing and enhances intimacy. A home-run is not a wham-bam, though quickies can be immensely sensual, too. Play a few bedroom games, try different positions and even slight variations of your old-faithful, tried and tested ones.


It just makes things a lot easier and, could end up creating a lot of extra slip-sliding fun between the sheets. There’s old trusty KY for the less adventurous while most adult shops stock an interesting variety of fragranced and flavoured lubricants that add a bit of spice to life.

Try some mint

But be careful, it can hurt. Rub a little bit of mint on your partner’s nipples for a cold-rush of enticement, breathe onto her or his nipples. This is a quality over quantity move and not recommended for anyone with a skin condition or any kind of sensitivity.

Massage time

Ylang Ylang is an essential oil said to enhance libido. Give your partner a massage using the oil or warm up some oil in a diffuser and fill the room with its sensual fragrance. Sex is bound to follow.

Create a quiz night

Spend some time in bed with your partner and create a fun quiz where both can comfortably reveal their likes and dislikes about your current sex life as well as, importantly, sharing fantasies and perhaps some ideas to enhance your coitus. Sex is important in a relationship, and so is communication. Keep talking, and you will not only sustain a healthy love life, but grow it in a direction that makes both partners happy and excited.

It is the little things

Like going to work without wearing undies if that turns your partner on. Or head to the office with Ben-Wa balls inside for women, and for men a penis-strap. Just knowing that your partner is doing this, with the odd sexting in between, and for the partner taking the risk, could be a positive turn on with day-long anticipation leading to nighttime play.

Take a sex class or an amorous massage class together.

While we are not too spoilt for choice in South Africa, Jonti Searll offers various courses, therapies and retreats for couples while amorous massage consultant Ian Jansen Van Rensburg offers courses for individuals and couples.


While masturbation remains a bit of a no-go no-talk area for many, it is essential to learn about and understand your own body. Sex with a partner can only be as good as sex with yourself. Who better understands what pleasures you and, for that matter, what your erogenous zones are than you? Pleasuring yourself in front of your partner can be equally as sensual and arousing.

Get cozy and enjoy an erotic movie together

There is a lot to be said for softer, more erotic than pornographic material. And, best of all, several streaming services offer films like Fifty Shades of Grey and others, ready to watch and cuddle-play on the couch.


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