A devastated Thabi Thethway is struggling to come to terms with her daughter’s suicide. After her death, her daughter’s friends have told her stories of how she was relentlessly bullied because of her appearance.

Asanda Thethwayo, a Grade 10 learner at Isipingo Secondary School, committed suicide by swallowing a cocktail of pills and paraffin on Tuesday, May 3. She died on Saturday in the intensive care unit at Prince Mshiyeni Hospital.

Thethwayo says she only became aware of the bullying after her daughter had swallowed the pills.

Her daughter had a nasty fall in primary school. The injury caused a broken front tooth and for her teeth to be realigned.

Thethwayo says she now realises that there were signs that her daughter was depressed all along.

“She didn’t enjoy going to school. She always wore a mask and never took it off.

“In the mornings she would have a very big breakfast. It is only now that I realise that it was so she wouldn’t have to take of her mask to eat at school,” says Thethwayo.

After her daughter was admitted to hospital, her friends and schoolmates came forward to say they were aware of the bullying she had gone through.

Thethwayo says she was told one of the bullies had been expelled from another school for the same reason.

“I was told that particular bully snatched Asanda’s mask off her face and made a video of her teeth and shared it at school. Maybe that is what finally broke her,” says Thethwayo.

While her daughter was lying in hospital, Thethwayo says she went to the school on Tuesday, May 10, and asked to speak to the principal about the matter. She was told he was unavailable because he was self-isolating.

“I was referred to the deputy principal, who said a meeting with the school’s governing body [SGB] will be called on Thursday, May 12, so that the incident can be addressed appropriately.

“When I arrived at the school for the meeting that Thursday, there was no SGB present. It was just the deputy principal in the office. This showed me the school was not taking the matter seriously,” says Thethwayo.

The school also allegedly refused a request by some of the learners to hold a prayer for Asanda.

Thethwayo described her daughter as a friendly, respectful, and loving child who had big dreams.

She says four days before her death, her daughter showed improvement in hospital, regaining consciousness, and talking. Her condition suddenly took a turn for the worse last Friday and she died the next day.

When the South Coast Sun contacted the school for comment, the person who answered the phone referred all questions to the Department of Education (DoE).

On Wednesday, DoE’s head of communications, Muzi Mahlambi, said the department was not aware of the incident but admitted that bullying was rife in schools.

“This troubles us because we value the safety and wellbeing of our learners. As a department we can’t deal with this problem alone and we need the parents to assist. Many incidents of bullying go unreported. We need to teach our children to report all incidents of abuse and bullying.

They can report these incidents at home or to teachers. I also urge teachers to take learners who report bullying seriously,” says Mahlambi.