Transformative speaker Dr Stephen Post believes that ‘giving is the most potent force on the planet’.

In his book, Why Good Things Happen to Good People, Post, a professor of preventive medicine and bioethics at Stony Brook University in New York, and co-writer Jill Neimark, demonstrate the connection between generosity and health and happiness.

His philosophy is aligned with a 2017 study by researchers from Swiss, German and American universities that used functional magnetic resonance imaging and a public pledge for future generosity to investigate the brain mechanisms that link generous behaviour with increases in happiness. Participants promised to spend money over the next four weeks either on others (experimental group) or on themselves (control group). 

“Participants in the experimental group made more generous choices in an independent decision-making task and showed stronger increases in self-reported happiness,” the study found. The conclusion: Generous behaviour increases happiness, which in turn motivates generosity.

The festive season is the perfect time to test this theory – people generally have more time and possibly a bit more money. Remember, though, that there are ways to give without spending a cent. If you have neglected a friend or loved one because of your busy calendar, freeing up a few hours to connect with that person – without the intrusion of a smartphone, work or family members – can be a precious gift. A home-cooked meal, letter of appreciation, hand-made card with a heartfelt message, or posy put together from your garden can all be used to show how much the recipient means to you. 

It is all about the thought, effort, time and care put into the gift, says life coach Penny Holburn. 

With many scientific and research papers confirming that there is joy to be found in giving, Caxton Local Media asked four people who are in the business of spreading happiness and goodwill what they think.

Go on, get your cheeks pinched

Once part of Caxton Local Media’s team, Urzila Carlson has been bringing smiles to people’s faces since learning to talk. The trade-off for her sometimes off-colour humour might be aching tummy muscles from too much laughter, but that is a small price to pay for experiencing her gift – pure escapism of the laugh-out-loud kind.

The South African-born New Zealand comedian and actress has become renowned for her screamingly funny stand-up performances, and while she may seem irreverent towards certain subjects some view as serious, off-stage she is anything but when it comes to pressing societal matters.

Carlson’s two children were roped into her Christmas outreaches in their Auckland community as soon as they could walk, because volunteering ‘is as much a holiday tradition in my family as eating too much’. 

“Every year around this time, the kids start getting antsy and I’m never sure if it’s because Santa is coming or because I make them work for their gifts. From the minute their little heads popped into this world, they’ve been involved in making Christmas special for others – so that they themselves can have a special Christmas. I remind them that Santa sees everything and that the old man is keeping notes! 

“Helping out isn’t always as joyous as it sounds. Every year, the kids help buy trolley loads of gifts for the Auckland City Mission and every year, they have a moment (by moment, I mean massive meltdown) because they can’t have some of the toys heaped in the trolleys.

“Once all the gifts have been delivered, their work is still not done. I make them act like little waiters at an old-age home where we cook for elderly people who have no family to spend the holiday with. 

“Nothing says you’ve worked hard for your Lego like having your cheeks pinched by 20 grandparents that you just met that day!

“This year will be somewhat different. They will be doing the same things as always and still getting their cheeks pinched, but this time it will be ‘for free’ because they now both know the truth about Santa (if you know, you know!).

“The true test, I guess, will be if they still help with gusto or if I will have to pinch their cheeks myself!” 

Jokes aside (at least, we think her cheek-pinching threat is a joke), Carslon hopes that when they are older, her children will be motivated to take over the family tradition of volunteerism not because of either a carrot or a stick, but because of the joy they both feel and spread. 

Good Things Guy

“I’m a firm believer that giving gifts can be way more rewarding than getting them. It’s like this amazing circle of positivity,” says Brent Lindeque, better known as the Good Things Guy.

“When you give, you’re not just handing over a gift; you’re giving joy and happiness to someone else. And that feeling, mate, it’s priceless.”

Lindeque believes that giving creates a special bond between people. “It’s like a secret handshake of kindness that adds tons of meaning to life. Whether it’s a small act of generosity or a big one, it connects us all in this beautiful way.”

The power of non-material gifts, like a smile or a compliment, is ‘off the charts’, he adds. “These little things can turn someone’s day around. I always say that a million things can start with a smile. It’s proof that you don’t need to spend a cent to make a big impact.”

Lindeque says people must not save giving for the holidays. “Let us make kindness and spreading good news a year-round thing. The world can always use a bit more positivity, and it starts with each one of us. So, keep on being awesome, and let’s make the world a better place, one good deed at a time!”

Cooking – a labour of love

Chef Marcus Modimokwane, who rose to fame during Covid-19 with his easy home meal videos, says he believes in gifting experiences. “They allow you to create lasting memories and provide someone with an opportunity to indulge in a unique and enriching adventure.”

And being the whizz he is in the kitchen, he naturally gifts the experience of a beautifully prepared meal that is eaten together. Chef Marcus says the joy he gets from cooking for his family and friends is always worth savouring.

Faith in giving

“It’s wonderful to receive gifts of any description, but often we find the joy of what we have wears thin after only a short while, like children bored with long-anticipated Christmas gifts by the end of Christmas day,” says Neil Vels, minister of the Milnerton Methodist Church in Cape Town.

He says that giving to others, on the other hand, changes us. “It’s no longer about how much I have, but about how much I can give, and as I give generously, I learn that I can live on less. Instead of relying on things to bring me joy in life, I learn to live simply, and realise that I do have enough, regardless of circumstances.”

Vels believes that the good feelings that come with giving last longer than the happiness experienced when receiving. “When we learn to live simply, giving generously from what we have, we become generous people and create a virtuous cycle of generosity. As we become more focused on what we can give to others, we become less consumed by our own feelings of inadequacy, and so begin to live from a healthier space mentally.

“Giving is not just about gifts with financial value, but also about being generous in praise, in acceptance of those who are different, and generous in giving our time to change things. In all these things, we become better people, and this contributes not only to our own well-being, but to that of the greater community.”