Social pressure, debt, and unresolved grief make December emotionally taxing for many, turning the season of joy into one of quiet struggle.
The festive season sells everyone the dream of goodness and joy for all mankind. There are Santas everywhere, fairy lights and happy selfies that drive doomscrolling.
But for many South Africans, the season cruises without good cheer and closer to a crash landing than a touchdown. Instead of joy there is strain, dread, old wounds could resurface and days could be like a dark blanket dropped over your being.
Psychologist and medical doctor Dr Jonathan Redelinghuys said the closing stretch of the year could deliver emotional contradictions that are hard to reconcile emotionally.
Festive season heightens stress, family tension, and financial strain
“December and January symbolise an end and a beginning. Although this may bring relief and accomplishment for some, for others it may be a reminder of all that they have endured,” he said.
Research by mental health professionals have noted the same pattern. The festive season disrupts routines, increases expectations and amplifies comparison. Research shows that the pressure to appear cheerful often worsens emotional strain.
ALSO READ: These are the anticipated busiest days to travel this festive season
It is a contrast Redelinghuys said can become overwhelming.
“The season of joy with its Hallmark-card movies, cheerful music and verdant pine trees is contrasted with overcrowded shopping centres, family arguments and financial strain,” he said.
“The pressure to maintain the appearance of joy may even make things worse by causing people to bottle up negative emotions.”
Social media fuels decline
He added the loss of normal routine and even the breathing space that work or distance sometimes provide can compound distress.
Social media fuels the decline further. Curated holiday perfection has become a virtual sport and doomscrolling a pastime of, well, doom.
ALSO READ: The 10 cheesiest Christmas songs we secretly love every year
“Pressure to keep up with the Joneses is even worse when the Joneses are showing off their lovely Christmas decorations, perfect family, brand new gaming consoles, huge Christmas meals and enviable holiday destinations,” Redelinghuys said.
“All the debt, fighting and jet lag are never honestly shared and a false perception of perfection is created. Chasing these unrealistic ideals is dangerous.”
Many families feel emotional load, too, and it is usually paired with a financial one. Social worker in private practice Carryn Hennessey said money stress is almost universal in December.
Money stress universal in December
“Many families are feeling the weight of financial strain,” she said.
Even households with stable incomes, she said, experience the crunch.
ALSO READ: The Grinch is taking over from Santa
“With unemployment at an alltime high and the cost of living becoming unaffordable, financial stress is affecting most households. The culture of gifting and celebration can leave families feeling excluded,” Hennessey said.
“And the looming costs of stationery, school fees and uniforms for the new school year can feel overwhelming for parents.”
Family conflict also has a way of resurfacing, she said. Gatherings intended to bring people together often bring unresolved issues to the table.
Family tension
“Many families carry unresolved grief, trauma and long-standing conflict,” she said.
“The holidays highlight these tensions because we all have different expectations.”
ALSO READ: Festive joy: No load shedding expected over the holidays
Alcohol use also heads north. “Alcohol misuse is high in our country and it makes families particularly vulnerable,” she said.
The accumulation of stress across the year, coupled with holiday-specific triggers, both Hennessey and Redelinghuys noted, increases emotional exhaustion and can tip some into depression.
Recognising the difference between ordinary fatigue and something more serious matters, said Redelinghuys.
Difference between ordinary fatigue and more serious matters
“Normal tiredness usually improves once pressure lifts, but when sadness persists without clear cause, it may signal depression that needs professional support,” he said.
People also find the festive season spiritually disorienting, said Annemarie Viviers of Heavenly Healing. She said the year-end comes with a natural energetic collapse.
ALSO READ: How one little elf took over Christmas
“People push themselves from January to November, often ignoring their emotional and physical limits. By December, the body and mind are depleted. The festive season does not create the exhaustion,” she said.
Viviers said simple grounding practices can help.
“People think healing requires grand gestures. But it is often the opposite. One quiet moment of intention a day can start to steady the emotional storm.”
