Boks need more brain, less boot
If England stick to their brand of rugby this weekend, and the Boks – or is that the box – stick to the kick, I will be forced not to wager any money on our team.
South Africa’s captain Siya Kolisi (C) celebrates with supporters after winning the Rugby World Cup 2019 semifinal match between South Africa and Wales at the International Stadium Yokohama in Yokohama City, Japan, 27 October 2019. Picture: EPA-EFE / MARK R. CRISTINO
An interesting comment after the Springboks secured their Rugby World Cup final spot on Sunday somehow managed to get stuck in my head.
The commentator compared Saturday’s semifinal to a chess game, with Eddie Jones and his merry band of Englishmen outwitting the All Blacks.
But, said the commentator, the Boks’ triumph over the Dragons was more in tune with a slugfest, with Siya Kolisi and the rest of our nation’s pride being awarded a split-decision points victory.
Now I’m not quite sure if it was a TV commentator, a colleague, or one of the voices in my head who said it, but credit to whoever did.
With these two rugby matches being compared to chess and boxing respectively, it reminded me of chessboxing – that crazy sport developed by a Dutch artist in which contestants do battle in alternate chess and boxing rounds.
While I am usually not one to judge, I must say that chessboxing really is an even worse idea than it sounds.
For those who don’t know, a chessboxing fight consists of 11 rounds, six rounds of chess and five rounds of boxing, and a victory in either wins and ends the entire contest. Each round lasts three minutes, regardless of whether it involves chess or boxing. I repeat, worse than it sounds.
If England stick to their brand of rugby this weekend, and the Boks – or is that the box – stick to the kick, I will be forced not to wager any money on our team.
Because what I fear is that the Boks will end up being the pawns sent off to slaughter – picked off rather easily by the white bishops and knights while the king will rely on the strength of his rooks and the queen for safety.
That reminds me, I hope Nigel Owens referees. He is just a cut above the rest.
Eddie Jones will probably be a step or two ahead – as most chess grandmasters inevitably are, and it will not come as a surprise if Rassie Erasmus finds himself in check at halftime.
And, if after 80 minutes Owen Farrell declares “checkmate!”, commentators everywhere – including in my head – will declare it a victory of brain over boot.
Danie Toerien.
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