The questions we ask say everything about us

Oh my goodness, I think I might be clairvoyant. No, this is not an April Fools’ joke. Today is the second already.

During the past couple of weeks, I discovered that I have an uncanny ability to see into people’s short-term future just by listening to the questions they ask.

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It started when I explained to little Olive that under no circumstances is she allowed to let the dog jump on the bed with her. She pumped her little fists into her hips, looked me square in the eye, and asked: “Why?”

At that exact moment, I realised that she had just entered the why-phase little ones go through and that going forward she will question, rather than accept, almost everything.

Way back when I hit the why-phase, my parents did the most sensible thing: they bought a set of encyclopaedias which they eventually paid off when I reached high school. But back to little Olive.

“Why?” means that for the foreseeable future, I will have to be oupa and teacher. Well, at least until she eventually goes to school and finds a real teacher to contradict everything I say.

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But that one question also got me questioning a lot. The questions we ask, say everything about us. “Where are you? What time will you be home? Who is there with you?” does not lead to a romantic, candle-lit dinner. Ever. Trust me, I can see that future like a whale on a beach.

However, “what are you wearing?” has the potential to turn a bed into a midnight picnic-spot.

Looking into my own question-generated crystal ball, I discovered that I am most definitely on the wrong side of the age spectrum. Just the other day I called up the wife on my way to a shop.

In years gone by, I would have asked if she wanted something from the liquor store, or whether we have enough charcoal and wood, or perhaps whether I can surprise her with something that goes bzzzz in the night.

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But no, last week I called her up and said: “I’m on my way to the pharmacy. Do you need anything?” She had to send a text, because I don’t trust my memory with such a long list. Perhaps I’m not really a clairvoyant. Maybe I’m just wising up with age.