Book Club: Cathrine Phiri on Love, Destiny and Healing – new book

Some love stories are about passion, while others are about timing. In A Love that Heals, author Cathrine Phiri explores both themes through the story of Thandaza Nyathi, a young woman who leaves rural Limpopo for Johannesburg in search of a better life. Along the way, she encounters hardship, rejection, faith and, ultimately, a relationship that helps her heal.

It’s a book that Phiri wants everyone to read because, she said, there’s a lesson for everyone between the pages. “If there’s one thing I want readers to take away from my book, it’s that love is a beautiful thing when you’re with the right person. To love and be loved is the greatest feeling ever,” she said.

Do you believe love is destiny?

I believe love is a choice. We choose to love. I think meeting the right person is destiny.

Tell us about Thandaza and her love interest Steven, and the dynamics of their relationship. Was it predetermined?

Thandaza and Steven’s meeting was fate. They both came into each other’s lives at the perfect time. I think that was fate, or God bringing them together. Their relationship goes beyond just loving each other. It heals and teaches them how to trust even after what they went through growing up.

Building a better life, moving from rural areas to the city and caring for family back home is a struggle many South Africans know well. Does that resonate with your own journey?

I related so much to Thandaza. Finding a job is very hard nowadays and sometimes we end up settling for any job just to put food on the table. I once worked as a domestic worker because that’s the only job I could get. It was either that or nothing.

Social judgement runs through the story, particularly in the salon scene. What were you hoping to say through those conversations?

I think as a society, we are conditioned a certain way. We are taught how men behave and that women are supposed to just accept it. Going back to the salon conversation, when the ladies told Thandaza to watch out because she is not sleeping with her man, I think we need to unlearn those ways. A person will do what they want, even if they are getting everything from their partner.

What is love beyond a chemical reaction or perhaps the fulfilment of a need, such as money?

I think we have forgotten what love is as a society. Nowadays, love revolves around having money. Yes, money is a need, but there’s more to love and relationships than having money or being able to take care of your partner. Love is honesty, trust and faithfulness. Putting someone’s needs before yours. Love is understanding that you two will have dark days, but go through everything together. I could go on all day.

What, in your mind, are the stages of courtship? Does the timeframe matter and do we know when we’ve found the right person?

I don’t think there’s a timeframe to courtship. What works for someone might not work for the next, and relationships differ. As for finding the right person, I think, deep down, we know when we are with them. Sometimes we meet people we know are not good for us but we are just in denial. Deep down, one knows.

Phiri is the author of several novels, including His Destroyer, Married at 16, Bestowed by the Gods, Players, A Love that Remains and Zendaya. A passionate storyteller, beta reader and book lover, she is also the founder of Talking Books with Catt, an online show dedicated to all things literary.